Ryo-Ri-Oh!
by Sass-Bot
Summary: You know what Pegasus has always wanted? You know, aside from the fame and riches that come with being the creator of Duel Monsters. He's always wanted to host a reality TV Show -about cooking. (Collab fic with spoonerdog123) (ON HIATUS - kinda)
1. Trollogue

**Prologue...?**

The great Winged Dragon of Ra, in all its shining glory, turns its head towards him; his heart skips a beat as the heat of its glare washes over him. It is a creature of fire, he knew that well before the thing appeared, but he never expected its gaze to be quite so _intense_, complimenting the beautiful deadliness of its immense claws, built to shred; not to mention the enormous, intimidating fangs he can see as it opens its mouth a little-

_Don't look._

With an effort, he keeps his own gaze straight, staring directly into the eyes of his opponent; the pure hatred he finds there. The thing screeches out a raucous challenge, saliva dripping from its teeth and spittle spraying in every directions - and all he does is brush away a single white bang which dared to cross his line of sight. He is no fool, of course; he knows that he is about to die. But at the same time, he knows that this death cannot be avoided, and he definitely doesn't want to show fear in his final moments; he can't give his enemy the satisfaction of seeing him flinch.

He can sense his companion watching him; violet eyes boring into his back, likely filled with - no, it's not likely - it's a hundred percent certainty; because he _knows _that those lavender eyes are glimmering with worry, because it wouldn't be any other way. Whether the man behind the man is worried about himself or his acquaintance or both is anyone's guess; but from what the fighter's seen so far, his companion is likely to be worried regardless.

"Do you forfeit?" The sound carries above the fearsome snarls of the god, snapping the young man out of his reverie. His opponent's sneering now, hoping to catch him off guard and get a wince out of him, but the teenager just stares him down, wooden smile on his lips, staring and staring until eventually his enemy's smirk goes plastic, then fades to a slight twitch on an otherwise irritable visage. "Well?"

The young man's lips spread even wide in a grin, even though the one he's fighting for can't see it - and that's probably a good thing, because his expression at that moment is a sight more disturbing than the monster he faces. The grin slashes his features clean in two, distorting an otherwise normal face to nightmarish levels as he mouths two simple syllables. He yells them out a moment later - and doesn't know if he's reassuring himself, or reassuring the person behind him.

"Never!"

Right on cue, the god's mouth opens, a beam of light shoots out towards him; a lightning bolt that slams into his chest, causing him to stagger - and the enormous fireball of colourful oranges and yellows has him airborne, the deck of the airship falling away from him as he flies. The force of the blast sends adrenaline pumping through his whole body - to be honest, he can't help but burst out laughing, cackling even as his skull hits the steel-plated wall behind him with a sick _crunch_, his shoulders shaking as he slides down, until they can't because they've burnt away. That's when he realizes that his whole body is dissolving, crumbling into ashes as it's eaten at by fire and shadow, half of him gone before he's even met the deck.

Is this the end?

...No, it's too soon for him to go out.

He will be back.

He_ is _the darkness.

The shadows cannot hold him forever.

As he hits the metal deck of... of... of whatever he was standing on, he doesn't remember anymore - but at any rate, as he hits it, he feels a surge of energy pass through what little of him remains, as the flames streak up his neck, up the sides of his face, and then-

Darkness.

* * *

And then, _not-darkness._

With a groggy sort of snort, he looks around the room he is now in; it is not the place he was in before, and not the place he should be in now. No, it's just an ordinary bed in an ordinary sort of room. Ordinary; beneath him, a place he has no desire to be in, and yet there he is...

Yes, _there he is!_ Because he _is _there! He rolls one shoulder, then the other, giggling drowsily as he does so, remembering how hard he laughed when the fireball hit hi-

Suddenly, the giggle catches in his throat - he coughs, then breaks out into an all-out cackle, harsh echoes bouncing off the walls as he sits up, zombie-like, realizing exactly how much damage he took - he _died_ - and yet he is still alive. Raised from the dead... no, _resurrected_, he decides. Yes, resurrected, rising above all those useless mortals, his body undestroyable, and perfectly poised to take his revenge-

-or, he _would _be, if only darkness doesn't happen to cloud his vision at that point, his head feeling light. It's not long before he finds himself sinking deep into the murky netherworld of the other place, the only thing undead about him being the drool going all over his chin as he flops back on the pillows, jaw hanging slack.

_...Goddammit._

* * *

He lies there for some time, time which he cannot measure, seeing as he is not conscious. However, the reader should probably know that just a few minutes into his latest coma, one brainwashed slave - I _mean_, one of the few females existent in this whole show - steps into his room. She's a dainty sort of thing, with brown hair in a neat little bob, and eyes big and innocent; one might expect her to scream or jump back when she sees the psychopath passed out on the mattress.

Only thing is, it's _not _her. It's not her consciousness looking out of those eyes, it's not her mind working her legs and making her come nearer - it's the psychopath's companion from before who's technically telling her to pull the blankets over the unconscious form of Ryou Bakura, the man behind the man who makes her giggle a little when he sees the drool of the guy who did sort of try to help out.

If only she had a camera - or maybe not, because maybe her controller can make her take one, take some photos...

With that in mind, she tiptoes out; it's an action more in the interests of drama than worrying about waking up He Who Recently Took A Fireball To The Face, but it _does _disturb Bakura's sleep a little less than, say, charging out of the room with a wild whoop.

The controller's going to be saving _that _one until he's got the photos.

* * *

**END**

**(And so, Bakura loses all his dignity.)**

* * *

_**Hello, people :D**_

_**Hope you liked that. This little fic is a collaboration with the lovely spoonerdog123. I recommend that, if you do plan on following this fanfic, you follow the other one. These two fics may have the same prologue, but they will be FAR from identical!**_

**_Also, Ryo-Ri-Oh! What could it mean? ;D You won't find out unless you go to Spooner's fic._**


	2. Prologue

Lounging in his seat, Otogi found himself constantly assaulted by the steady _beep–beep–beep_of a heart monitor; an ordinary hospital noise, certainly, but a most irritating one. He shifted slightly in annoyance as it continued onwards. He was normally more patient, but it had been a stressful couple of days for him - well, for everyone on the airship, really. But it had been the _most _stressful for him, he decided, because in addition to all the stuff he'd been put through with the others, he had neither expected nor _understood_any of the things that happened after he had saved Honda and Shizuka on a whim.

With a sigh, he glanced at his two new friends, who had managed to doze off on a couple of sofas beside him; even in sleep, he found no trace of peace on their faces. In contrast, casting his stare upon Mai Kujaku, he had to admit that she appeared to be far more relaxed, the very picture of tranquility, sleeping peacefully before him - and how he wished she were! The blonde he'd barely even met just wouldn't wake up; and he didn't fully understand why. So many things had happened that he couldn't explain; and this was a _very _bad thing, because Ryuuji Otogi was the sort of person who had to have an explanation for everything. Saying that he was merely terrified would be a severe understatement.

_All this for a whim..._

And that made him pause to wonder - he had been put through hell and back, but had it all been _worth_it? Would he have been better off if he had minded his own business and stayed at home?

_Wouldn't it have been much better if this had never happened?_

He didn't know about that, but looking at his companions, sleeping and vulnerable, told him all he needed to know - regardless of how he felt about getting involved in the whole mess in the first place, his friends needed him now. Therefore, he supposed, he would stay. Not that he could have left if he'd wanted to - they were cruising at some ridiculous altitude or other. He couldn't be quite sure of the numbers, but he guessed that it was high enough that someone walking off the gangway would become a very messy puddle-

"Is she awake yet?"

A soft, melodious voice reached Otogi's ears; one he had heard often during the past few days. With a sigh, he looked over at Shizuka, now sitting up between himself and Honda, observing the drowsy way she stared in the older woman's direction, raising a delicate hand to rub at her eyes. He hadn't exactly wanted her to wake up, but it was too late for that kind of thinking now.

"Not yet," the young man told her at last. He honestly wished that he could lie, if only to see her young features light up - but he just couldn't do that to her. He watched in regret as her brow furrowed, and she pulled her legs up onto the couch soon afterwards, hugging her knees against her chest and hunching over, chin touching her knees.

"It's not fair..." Her voice was shaking, and Otogi found that he desperately wanted to reassure her, if only so that he wouldn't have to see her this way. However, his analytical brain insisted that based on past incidents, there really was nothing he could say in order to make her feel better, and so he remained silent.

Nothing he could _say_, perhaps, but there surely had to be something he could _do_. After some time had passed, he spoke; he might be able to distract her from the worry Mai had to be causing. With a grunt, he lifted himself from the chair.

"I think I'll go and see how the others are doing now." Taking a step towards Shizuka, he held out his hand. "Maybe you should come with me."

The girl hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. "No... no. I'm staying here with Mai."

"I'm gonna have to second Otogi on this one, actually." The raven-haired teen tensed for an instant, then relaxed as he saw Honda getting to his feet with a yawn, walking to stand next to the other boy. "Shizuka, staying here is only going to make you more depressed. I know you're worried, but you really should get out of here for a little bit. You could help lift Jou's spirits - he needs you, too."

A smirk flickered across Otogi's features for a moment when he saw Shizuka's nod; Honda always seemed to know what to say, in any given situation...

* * *

Once the two boys had helped Shizuka to her feet, the trio moved out of the little room, trotting down the hallway and into the lounge area. As luck would have it, Yugi, Jonouchi and Anzu lay in wait for them, greeting them warmly upon their arrival.

"So, where to now?", Honda asked the two Battle City finalists.

Jonouchi shrugged nonchalantly, gently pulling his sister to his side. "Kaiba says we're heading for some secret location to have the final matches."

Otogi tried not to scoff at that - Kaiba really did like to show off, after all - but this was something utterly _ridiculous_, even by his standards.

_A secret location?_

Honestly - was it all that necessary to prolong this competition? Couldn't Kaiba see how dangerous it was getting?

Or maybe he _did _see, and was merely being business savvy; cashing in on the drama, you might call it. As a businessman, Otogi supposed that such a thing would surely cause its audience to continue to watch the channels the footage was being shown on, sponsors squabbling to get an advertisement in. Perhaps, with the promise of a 'secret location', the money would increase; the lure of the unknown was indeed a strong one, after all.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Otogi allowed himself a quiet snort quietly to himself, glancing around for the Kaiba brothers as Honda asserted that Mai had not yet woken up - and just as he expected, the Dreadful Duo were nowhere to be seen. They must have been somewhere in the cockpit of the blimp, he guessed; only the best for Seto Kaiba-

**WHAM!**

The raven haired boy suddenly felt the ground snatched from beneath his feet, then he was staring at the ceiling.

_What's going on?_

Raising himself into a painful crouch, he looked over at Honda and Shizuka. The former was clinging onto one of the tables for dear life, while the latter was being held tightly by her older brother. No sooner had Otogi struggled to his feet, however, than -

**WHAM!**

- a second impact knocked him onto his front, grimacing in pain as his chin hit the hard floor.

_What kind of turbulence is this?_

He had been on plenty of private planes, enough to know something about storms - and this 'turbulence' appeared to be breaking every rule he knew; a non-continuous series of sharp impacts, almost as though something was crashing repeatedly into the...

_...oh, no._

"What's goin' on here, Kaiba?" Jonouchi snarled, addressing a billionaire who likely wasn't even in the room. All the same - if anyone could explain what was happening and why the blimp had been shaking earlier, then it was Kaiba.

Otogi watched as Yugi stepped in the middle of the room, miraculously not falling on his bottom as he took charge of the situation. "I think we need to pay Kaiba a visit! Come on, guys!"

He gestured enthusiastically to the door, and all six of them rushed off in the general direction of the cockpit, Anzu and Jounouchi leading the charge while Otogi and Honda brought up the rear. However, the blimp was much larger than assumed - so it took them several minutes, several knocked out guards, and several dead ends before the managed to rush pell-mell past some very surprised men in suits, and towards a sturdy door, a criss-cross of bolts keeping it firmly shut. From the other side of the wood, all present could hear the total tsunami that was Seto Kaiba's anger - objects being thrown, obscenities being shouted - and something about a pizza place, oddly enough...

"You have to let us in!" Shizuka pleaded to one of the guards, but the man only stared woodenly ahead. Without further ado, Honda snatched up the guy by the tie, drew back his fist, and-

"Get your hands _off _my big brother's property!"

Yugi whirled on the newcomer, excitement in his eyes. "Mokuba! You've got to help us! Just get the door unlocked, so tha-"

"Only my big brother has the keycode for that door!", the short boy snapped, not taking his gaze off Honda until the teen had reluctantly set his victim's feet back on the ground. "Unless he chooses to let us in, there's nothing we can d-"

That was when they all heard the clicking of locks opening, and the many bolts slid smoothly away - the guard, assuming his boss had opened the door for them, stepped aside. Yugi was the first to make a move, pushing the heavy door open with a shrug, Mokuba racing through the gap before he could enter. They all piled into the luxurious room, Otogi making his way towards the front in the clamour. "Do you know what's happening?"

If looks could kill, then the look on Kaiba's face had the potential to kill at least one third of Japan's population. Otogi shifted awkwardly in the silence which followed, looking over at the many screens behind the CEO - each and every last one presenting the image of none other than Pegasus J. Crawford, looking smug as ever; not to mention that he was dressed, oddly enough, in the uniform of a pizza delivery boy.

_Well, that explains roughly one million percent of Kaiba's rage._

The silver haired man grinned broadly and waved _hello_upon seeing them - Otogi couldn't help but feel relieved, if not a bit starstruck. It had been so long since he had seen Pegasus, and yet the man had left a lasting impression. Come to think of it, not only was this man his idol, but the one who had inadvertently brought him onto this blimp in the first place. He wasn't sure whether he was thankful for that or not.

His attention shifted to Kaiba again, as the CEO of Kaiba Corp itself could surely not be ignored for long; certainly not when said CEO was towering over them and hollering. His voice was laced with absolute poison, eyes conducting a sort of anger that only someone like Seto Kaiba was capable of - the sort that clearly said that this man was both wanting to murder you, and in a position to. "What is the meaning of this? Did Pegasus send you here?"

In the face of such rage, Otogi found himself half-expecting for Pegasus to back down, but instead a harsh chuckle only filled the control room, blaring from forty speakers, the obvious amusement clearly causing a vein to appear on Seto's forehead. The CEO of KaibaCorp was by this point so close to snapping that Otogi thought it was best to step back a little bit so as not to become part of the collateral damage that could occur here; he was very much relieved to see his friends follow suite. Pegasus beamed once again at Kaiba; "Kaiba-boy, don't be so rude! To play games, you need friends! And who better than the people you invited, hmmm?" For a moment there, Otogi felt as though his and Pegasus's eyes had met, and perhaps the older man had just given him a slight nod of acknowledgement - but then the moment had passed, and it became clear that Pegasus intended to focus all of his attention on Kaiba.

And focus he did - with every word Pegasus spoke, Kaiba's irritation seemed to increase tenfold. Otogi didn't know if the billionaire was aware, but by the time the other CEO was finished, the brunette's shoulders were shaking in rage. His hands were curling over the table. Standing at his side, Mokuba looked as though he was at a loss for words. Otogi guessed that Mokuba wanted to defend his older brother, but at the same time knew Seto wouldn't want him to interfere...

Pegasus's next words to the group in general startled everyone present. "You are all going to be _great_friends in my cooking show; I can see that already!"

Otogi's jaw dropped.

_A cooking show?_

Why in the world would Pegasus host a cooking show? He was the creator of Duel Monsters for heaven's sake! Wouldn't it make more sense to have them participate in a dueling competition?

"And you really should consider performing a little bit for those cameras!" Otogi's eye twitched a little at that; it was going to be a reality show as well?

Kaiba was having none of it, however. In an admirable comeback, he glared so fiercely at Pegasus that his expression could have felled a hyena, folding his arms in clear contempt as he made a stand. "And what happens if I decide to refuse to participate in this farce?"

The room went very quiet after Kaiba's challenge, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop on the tile was only aided by a sense of iciness, a chill sweeping the room as, for only a moment, Pegasus's act was dropped. The tone was still light hearted, but Otogi shivered when he spoke; he had never seen Pegasus this way before.

"That would be my lawyers against yours. My_much better paid lawyers._"

In that moment, even the bold Seto Kaiba was speechless, eventually blinking and looking away from the screen he faced. "Fine. I'll do it."

Everyone in the room was relieved when Kaiba spoke - the tension was released, and Pegasus didn't look as threatening as he did only seconds before. Merrily clapping his hands, Otogi decided that he looked almost like a young boy on Christmas day - if you could possibly say that about a man as dangerous as Pegasus.

"Ooh! That's wonderful to hear from you, Kaiba-boy! I'll have to explain the rules right away!"

Otogi grimaced at the saccharine in the older man's voice; he didn't know what kind of cooking game Pegasus was planning, but it seemed as though everyone aboard was to participate - including the creepy Egyptian who Otogi had pegged out as a psychopath to be avoided some time ago. He didn't mind playing a game, but playing it with a possible mass murderer, and with Mai in that condition...

Oh, he wasn't looking forward to this.

Not one little bit.

* * *

**END**

**(And so, Otogi had to participate in a cooking game.)**

* * *

_**-cough- Pay no attention to the chapter called "Trollogue"...**_

_**Also, erm, summary change? What summary change?**_

_**If you decided to pay no attention to my previous Author's Note, you ought to go check out Spooner's fic because she's got some juicy details that aren't in my fic.**_

_**Right then GO GO GO**_


	3. Chapter One

The disgruntled crowd watched in surprise as one by one, each screen's display turned from the image of an over-zealous young man to the default blue, white text announcing that there was no longer a signal.

_Just as he was about to explain the rules, too..._

Otogi may have been curious about that, but he certainly wasn't idiotic enough to ask about it; not in this scenario. Instead, he pushed his weight up against a wall, almost lazily watching the true spectacle that was Seto Kaiba, as currently going from collected fury to uncontrollable rage.

"Pegasus!" he roared, sounding less like a lion and more like the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon; after all, the amplitude alone was comparable to not one beast, but _three_. "Explain yourself!"

_Note to self: Cue ominous chorus singing in the background._

Despite every part of his brain screaming to maintain a blank stare, Otogi found himself pursing his lips at the sight of this utterly unhinged Seto Kaiba - this engine of havoc seemed nothing like the calm and collected man, who watched in stony silence as his tournament's contestants were gradually decimated. A little less than half of them were in comas, and the great man hardly blinked at the loss; yet Pegasus had managed to ruffle the CEO's feathers.

"Kaiba." Everyone's attention went on the voice's owner - a calm, relaxed Yugi, now stepping forward, his posture straight and his eyes holding a gaze that was steady, firm - _too_firm to be Yugi's. At that, Otogi tensed ever so slightly - _this isn't Yugi, this is the other Yugi _– and immediately lowered his gaze as the other Yugi carried on: "We mustn't lose our cool or we'll be playing right into Pegasus's hands. I don't like this either, but the best thing to do is to remain calm."

If the heavy fist that landed on the dashboard was any indication, Kaiba wasn't exactly happy about the 'remain calm' bit.

Luckily, just as the brunette's mouth opened to form a profanity coated reply, the sound of static interrupted him, one of the many intercoms bursting into life.

"Hell_oooo_?"

_Pegasus. _No-one else Otogi knew said hello like... well, like _that_.

"Guys, I thought you were smart enough to figure this out on your own! I'm waiting for you in the kitchen!" The man sounded comically impatient, his last sentence coming in sing-song tone.

"There's a kitchen on this blimp?" Jounouchi piped up, and Otogi mentally groaned. The blonde was salivating messily in anticipation of a possible meal, causing Shizuka to lean away in obvious discomfort. Not that Otogi could exactly blame Jounouchi for thinking about food - Kaiba's meals were surely of the highest quality. After all, he would have enough wealth to hire a veritable fleet of professional chefs, each one with their own specialties. A quick glance at the drooling teenager confirmed that his brain was quite clearly going through what dishes might be served from in the kitchen. Otogi was no mind-reader, but he did have some idea of what Jounouchi was currently fantasizing about - enormous slabs of meat slathered with master-level dressings that could probably have tempted a rabbit to eat, a whole roast pig with an apple in its mouth...

Unfortunately, the act of imagining about what Jounouchi might be thinking of made Otogi's stomach growl. Wincing a little, praying that nobody else had heard it emit a sound that he likened to a dying cat, he moved his hand over his stomach to soothe it, and looked around at the others. "So, what are we all waiting for?"

Never had a simple sentence been so hard for him to get out. It was, after all spoken in the midst of the tense silence caused by the liquid wrath oozing from every crevice on Kaiba's body, suffocating everyone with its stench.

…Well, that or Jounouchi may have passed gas.

* * *

The kitchen was impressive to say the least; even Kaiba seemed to be surprised as he stomped – sorry, _walked _into it. It was, after all, an incredibly high tech, industrial grade culinary workshop – benches lined with cooking stations as far as the eye could see, split down the center by floor-to–ceiling shelves. It was immediately obvious to Otogi that those cooking areas were meant to be for the contestants, namely themselves.

Without a single word of acknowledgement said, a guard strode robotically past them, and towards the closest station; reaching for one of the cabinets above him, and opening it with a swift motion of his hand, the sort that could break a neck. However, there was no resounding _crack_; instead, the door swung open to reveal any and every cooking utensil anyone would ever need. Otogi blinked – _how did Pegasus's men manage to get all of those to fit in that cupboard in the first place_? – then scanned the area surrounding the bench; his sharp eyes catching sight of the well-stocked knife block, the microwave, the clock – and the television screens built into the wall adjoining each individual bench.

_Those screens… what could they be for…?_

This last thought dominated his mind as he stood there in the kitchens, carefully analyzing every detail he could – that is, until Kaiba became impossible to ignore. The CEO was now storming towards a television mounted on a wheeled stand, which had just been pushed into the room, broadcasting Pegasus's face in all its pompous anything, the brunette's loathing for the screen seemed almost more severe than it had been earlier, which came as a complete surprise - not only to Otogi, but to most of the people present from the looks of things. Looking around at the rest of the group, he could see his own bewilderment reflected on their faces - put simply, they just couldn't imagine anything more severe than Kaiba's outburst earlier.

Otogi didn't have to search long for the cause of the death-bringing scowl gracing the CEO's features, for the problem was quite literally _all around them._The very walls themselves were absolutely covered in Pegasus's trademark toon monsters, most of which appeared to be ridiculing their more serious counterparts. A quick glance around the area Kaiba was looking out netted Otogi a viewing of the the exact drawings to cause the billionaire to come even closer to snapping: his three Blue-Eyes White Dragons were being humiliated by their cuter counterparts. The worst insult of the three for someone like Kaiba, the teenager decided, was undoubtedly the scene in which a caricature Blue-Eyes White Dragon, was currently engaged in the process of drawing a flowing crayon mustache on a portrait of the original Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

To be honest, it was a stroke of good luck for Otogi that the CEO was focusing all the energy of his very own verbal White Lightning at Pegasus, because the teen was mentally having a good laugh at the sight of Kaiba's pride and joy being defiled in the mural. It was obvious that the station directly below that drawing was intended for none other than Seto Kaiba himself, though he doubted that the older boy would be pleased by that arrangement.

"Remind me again, what _exactly _is a kitchen doing this big in a dueling blimp?"

_Typical Jounouchi._

Quickly tuning out, so as not to hear so much of Kaiba unleashing his anger on poor Jounouchi - "Do I look like a mere _shipwright _to you?" - Otogi decided that it was best to simply talk to someone else, and so turned to speak to Shizuka.

"This place is pretty high tech."

She nodded swiftly in reply, ruffling her her ginger hair slightly as she did; her eyes were wide with an unasked question. After a slight pause, she asked timidly; "Does Pegasus want _all _of us to compete?"

Otogi shrugged, glancing away from her as Kaiba's voice jumped up a notch in volume, Pegasus began to laugh. "Looks like it."

"O-Oh..." She stared at her shoes, and the teenager blinked; for at that moment, she looked so _vulnerable_- unsure of what was going to happen, and fearing what _could_. For a long while, he struggled with himself, trying to come up with some comforting comment, something that wasn't along the lines of 'Get over yourself' (his father had never exactly been the greatest of comforters), and all the while wondering if he should even _say _anything -

As luck would have it, he didn't have to decide; the barely-started conversation was brought to a grinding halt by an ear-splitting _**BANG**_, and a shower of sparks that fell upon them from...

...well, Otogi didn't really know _where _they were coming from. However, logic said that the explosion must have had something to do with that ugly grimace on Kaiba's face, his now labored, very much audible breathing best compared to a steam train in its death throes.

Pegasus, of course, completely ignored this.

"Welcome to my brand-new reality show - with some of the very best recording equipment available on the market, some of it not even _on _the market! Isn't it impressive?" The man on the television screen spread his arms in theatrical gesture, tilting his head to the right to move his silver fringe over his left eye. The wideness of his grin was clearly directly proportional to the extent of Kaiba's fury - the CEO seemed to be at a total loss for words, and he seemed to be on the verge of simply walking out altogether - in fact, he was already backing away towards the doorway.

Pegasus's mouth formed a perfect 'O' in response to the move, and he began to shout in protest: "No, no, no! This isn't right - do come in! Don't just stand in the doorway! No backing away!" At this, a suited man took the television by handles set onto the stand, his master in a state of comical panic as the screen was slowly wheeled backwards. "Oh no! I'm moving away! You had better hurry up!"

They moved forwards quite slowly, advancing further into the kitchen in a distinctly awkward silence; each looking about at the others to make sure that they were not moving too fast. Not even Kaiba wanted to get to Pegasus before anyone else did; though he somehow managed to appear intimidating and upset, even whilst he was walking at a dead crawl so different from his usual pace. Otogi made a point of lingering at the back of the group with Shizuka and Honda - or at least, lingering as best as one really could, given that being at the back of the pack was apparently a prized commodity now.

Suddenly, he shuddered to a halt - there was a strange sort of _tension _in the air, an odd sort of chill down his spine. Instantly; two anxious glances were directed towards the teen, who simply shrugged it off - _It's okay, I'm quite alright_- went to catch up with the rest of the group, just a few small steps ahead of them-

**THUNK!**

"What was that?" Shizuka whispered, her voice hinting at both confusion and fear, and her expression confirming it.

Unsure of what to make of it, but fearing the worst, Otogi simply grabbed Shizuka's hand (much to Honda's horror), and deftly led her towards the group. "I don't know, but we should move."

As Pegasus's screen came into view, Shizuka's grip on Otogi's hand abruptly tightened, her nails now digging into the palm of his hand. "Shizuka, are you okay?" , he whispered to her - but the young girl wasn't looking in his direction. Her gaze instead darted between something behind them both, to something just beyond the television screen front of him, then back again - and only when he glanced in the same directions did he realize exactly what she was scared of.

There was, in fact, a cleaver of a fairly lethal size embedded in the door that they had come through, still quivering, its blade splitting the grinning Toon Blue-Eyes White Dragon neatly in half. It appeared to have been thrown with the precision of a professional knife-thrower - someone rather like the psychopath who was leaning idly against a counter, just beyond Pegasus's screen, grinning sickly and -

"Watch out!"

He felt an arm grab his own, tug him towards the ground. There was another loud **THUNK**-and upon craning his head back, Otogi could see a second cleaver had been added to the lovely collection on the door behind them, splitting the dragon into four pieces.

_If that thing had hit me..._

Shivering a little under the heavy arm, the teen took a moment to glance at his savior, Honda; who was at that moment half grimacing, half smiling. "Thanks, man," Otogi told his friend as he got to his feet, helping up Honda and Shizuka, who had been thrown to the ground as well-

-and then he froze.

Yami Malik was pointing a long and highly dangerous carving knife at the group; the tip angled towards Otogi's neck . He flicked it back over his shoulder, as if to throw - "_Oh, never mind; I see him"_- and Otogi knew in that moment, as Seto Kaiba made a less-than-heroic dive at the floor, that if the young man let the blade fly, he was _toast. _Their eyes locked; amethyst on green - and then Yami Marik...

...paused...

...and began to laugh, lowered the knife with a dismissive hand at the group. "Nah... that wouldn't be fun enough."

"I made a rule against it too!" Pegasus chimed in. To be honest, Otogi had almost forgotten about his presence, too distracted the terror instilled in him by the psychopath standing right behind the man - but all the same, the teen waited patiently for Pegasus's next words, which he hoped would be a full explanation. However, much to the irritation of everyone in the room, he began to advertise some movie of some sort, somehow managing to insult Kaiba at the same time.

"The _rules, _Pegasus! The rules!", the CEO hissed at the silver haired man, as he rambled on and on about recommendations, cowardly lions and musicals - and at that, Honda leaned towards Otogi, putting his lips uncomfortably close to the gamer's ear.

"Does he ever shut up?"

"Which one?", Otogi returned under his breath.

With a chortle and a small spray of spittle that fell gracelessly on Otogi's ear, Honda replied: "Both."

* * *

**END**

**(Otogi's ear was never the same after that...)**

* * *

**_Hello there :D Starting from this point, updates will be coming weekly. Every Saturday, you get another part of this strange and fascinating tale about friendship, heart, food, and Honda's spittle. I'm not even exaggerating._**

**_As always, here's a friendly reminder to go check out Spooner's part in case you haven't already. Her part's a little dip in the crazy mind of Seto Kaiba. Should be fun ;)_**


	4. Chapter Two

"Oh! Yes! So, rule number one is no stabbing." Pegasus proclaimed, interrupting Otogi and Honda's idle exchange. He cast his gaze over Yami Malik - though the gesture was utterly lost on the young man. In fact, he didn't seem to be interested in listening in the least, letting loose with a loud and obnoxious yawn that Otogi almost mimicked, but somehow held it in.

"Number two, at least _try _to avoid profanity." This was quite obviously a rule directed at Seto Kaiba, who was a push away from cussing out Pegasus's entire lineage, but the man on the screen glanced at Jounouchi as well, and Otogi decided that was a good call too. He couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle as Jounouchi began to wave his fist, only to be held back by his younger sister.

"Number three; mind controlling is only okay if I don't notice that you're doing it. I know that _some _of you don't believe in it, but it could happen." There were more than a few raised eyebrows at that rule, with the exception of the now semi-dozing Yami Malik. Otogi supposed that the restriction may have also been a rule for Malik, or "That-Egyptian-before-his-hair-went-weird", but Pegasus's gaze was instead firmly fixed on Anzu, whose cerulean eyes blinked in surprise at the sudden attention.

_Mind control...?_

Otogi barely got time to think about what _that _could have meant, however; Pegasus simply ploughed onwards through the rules with little pause for thought. "Number four, all cooking must be within the time limit. There are no exceptions, and no extra time will be given to anyone - I don't care how crazy things get, the show must go on! And number five, an ingredient list must be created one hour before the start of each challenge, so that I can go shopping. If any ingredients are missing, the time it takes for you to get your ingredients from the shops will be taken out of your cooking time - so you should be careful!"

At this point, Kaiba decided to let out another animal-like sound; this time, a horse-like snort. Whether the CEO was even aware of the strange noises he was emitting, whether he was simply let them out instinctively or making them deliberately, Otogi couldn't quite be certain; but at any rate, it was certainly entertaining to listen to. "And how exactly are we going to _go _grocery shopping - jump out of the blimp?"

"You're free to do that if you like, Kaiba-boy." And there it was, the mocking "_Kaiba-boy_" that the CEO despised so much. Otogi made an effort to avert his gaze from the enraged teenager.

"Why, you little-"

But Pegasus paid him no mind; in a beautiful display of ignorance, he continued onto the next rule. "Aaaand that brings us to number six! No illegal substances that could affect the judges' decisi-"

"What sort of substances?" To Otogi's surprise, that was the younger Kaiba now speaking up, making the teen wonder if the eight year-old had any previous experience with _illegal substances_; and if so, what exactly these were; though there was definitely an odd look in Mokuba's eye, one which made the raven-haired teen shift uneasily; something in the back of his mind telling him that the little boy was in no way opposed to using poison in order to get what he wanted. And the realization of that - well, to say that it freaked Otogi out a bit would be a severe understatement.

Pegasus gave the boy a hard look; "You _know _what I mean." And as much as the teenager didn't want to believe that one, something told Otogi that Mokuba really did know.

"Oh! And also -" - here Pegasus directed a look at Kaiba that practically _screamed _that a terrible joke/insult combo was now forthcoming, and Otogi found himself rubbing his temples in anticipation - "-don't go screwing the rules just because you have money! Rule seven is 'No Bribery', after all."

A dreadful silence followed that statement, so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. You could certainly hear the clacking of several jaws dropping at Pegasus's pure insolence; Otogi could almost see the man quite literally picking up Kaiba's dignity and hurling it onto the floor, then striking a pose and laughing impishly as it shattered into a million pieces. The silence stretched outwards, the raven-haired teen keeping his gaze firmly trained on the floor-

-and then the room _exploded._

It was something absolutely nobody expected; but there it was: Seto Kaiba, the very CEO of KaibaCorp, host of a tournament, master duelist second only to Yugi and Pegasus...

...burst into the most vulgar of hissy fits known to mankind - the sort that started world wars and obliterated teddy bears, the sort that annihilated rainbows and created psychopaths. His mouth was moving at hundreds of miles per hour, spewing insults that Otogi didn't even know _existed_, words that even Jounouchi wouldn't dare say. He was a whirlwind, a tornado of verbal destruction that absolutely nobody in the room wanted to get in the way of - not even Yami Malik. In fact, the storm of insults was something he actually paid attention to; he stiffened from head to toe, every part of his being seemingly trained on Kaiba, eyes alight for the first time with a strange, wicked sort of fascination.

Somewhere around the twenty-second mark after Kaiba had started his barrage of profanities, Jounouchi began to snigger; turning it into a full blown guffaw as the rest of the group joined in; some members gasping in horror as the CEO used this particular word or that word. Shizuka in particular gasped a fair amount; for she was obviously very offended by the language that was being thrown around before her big, brown, oh-so-innocent eyes. Trying desperately not to laugh himself, Otogi reached over to the girl and covered her ears, seeing that her brother obviously had no intention to.

The giggling, gasping and general vulgarities were halted abruptly by an incredibly feminine squeal, and Otogi performed an automatic double take to make sure it really _had _come from Pegasus and not Anzu or Shizuka - both of whom had been getting more and more troubled as Kaiba went on. To be honest, the raven-haired teen highly doubted that either of them would have been driven to the point of squealing by the insults; but the older man was an even _less _likely candidate for producing such a noise.

However, all doubts were put to one side and slated for an early grave when Pegasus threw his hands to his cheeks, crying out in some attempt to appear horrified; "Oh, oh, Kaiba-booyy! I think you just pulled this fic- I _mean_, I think you might have just pulled my poor show's rating up to M!"

'_This fic'...?_

However, there was no time to think on the matter - for the comment sent Kaiba's anger to an all-new high, as his temper exploded once more upon the television screen; the guard behind it shifting his weight, trying to look away with limited success.

Kaiba's rant began thus: "I do believe you were asking for it, you -"

**BLEEEP!**

"-lollipop-"

**BLEEEP!**

"-your father's old-"

**BLEEEP!**

"-custard!"

Otogi watched in amusement, as every attempt at a swear or graphic description of violence was subsequently **BLEEEP**-ed out by a tall, skinny girl holding a megaphone in one hand and - and yes, that was a _fan _in the other - looking all too happy to ruin Kaiba's fun.

_But still... a fan? What could that possibly be for?_

Kaiba's expression was utterly indescribable, as he slowly and surely stepped away from both the female and the television set; opting to back down for the moment in order to assess the situation. The girl, on the other hand, was shooting sly glances at Yugi and giving him a one-thousand watt smile, which might have been endearing had it not been mixed with a crazed, almost psychopathic grin; an expression Otogi knew all too well, worn across the faces of the girls who followed him about at school.

At last, the CEO let loose: "How dare you!"

_And there he goes again..._

Kaiba went into his rigid I'm-really-upset-right-now stance, aiming a chilling glare at the poor girl, or she would be a poor girl if she wasn't returning that same glare right back at him boldly, standing on her tip-toes to meet his gaze. The young man huffed; "Who do _you _think you are? Some sort of-"

And Otogi finally had his previous question answered, as her fan went flying straight towards Kaiba's face, knocking him off balance, surely making the girl the winner of whatever battle those two were now apparently fighting.

"Language!" she screeched; a shrill noise that made Otogi's head hurt.

Pegasus laughed, as though the girl was simply some puppy that had just performed an amusing trick. "I nearly forgot to introduce you! This is our pretty hostess, Vivian Wong. Due to budget cuts, she's also our censor." Needless to say, any sort of fondness the teen might have had for that girl and her ability to size up Seto Kaiba went straight out the window at the sudden thought of having her around during the cooking competition Pegasus had planned - and Pegasus's explanation did little to dull the ringing in Otogi's ears.

"And Yami-whammy's rival!"

_...Oh, good grief._

Could things really have gotten any worse? Otogi watched the unfortunate Yami take a couple of slow steps back, desperately trying not to alert Vivian of his escape attempt, his face betraying a look of silent terror. The teen knew that look all too well, too - Yami was imagining all of the things Vivian doubtlessly had in plan for him, in the event that he ever fell into her waiting hands. It was the look Ryou showed when his fangirl club caught him in the corridor, the look Otogi himself had to fight to keep down.

Or rather, the look, Ryou _used _to show, before he couldn't show emotions any more, because he was in a coma and so was Mai and Rishid too and everyone was _dying-_

Seto put his hands firmly on the ground and heaved himself up, glowering at Vivian as he did so, his voice now becoming somewhat petulant. "But I'm his ri-"

"Not anymore! I like him better than you do!"

_Oh, brother..._

Otogi tried to ignore their argument, Pegasus's running commentary, and focused his attention on Honda in the name of distracting himself. "This is some competition, eh?"

The teen's failed attempt at small talk was utterly pathetic and undeserving of a reply, of course; and yet Honda spared him a few words and a nod. "If Kaiba and Vivian keep fighting like this, it's gonna be a _blast_." He winced a little and grinned. "That girl's kicking his butt."

From somewhere in front of Otogi, there was a loud _thud_, as Kaiba was flung onto the ground for the umpteenth time, completely incapable of laying a scratch on his foe. "You don't slap a girl!" they heard Vivian holler, sounding less like a lady and more like a demon who had risen from the tenth circle of hell; and this was followed up by a loud series of bangs amidst pained cries and whimpers. If only those cameras were on, this would be _quality _entertainment, Otogi thought to himself - and judging by the giggles coming from the television, Pegasus completely agreed with this view.

To be honest, the girl seemed to be more of a living weapon than the 'somewhat annoying fangirl' stereotype Otogi had initially pegged her as. A champion of many fighting styles, some of which the raven-haired teen recognized, she dodged the CEO's attacks with graceful ease, and flinging professionally executed blows back, meeting her target every time and in general making Kaiba look like a little boy on the playground going up against a bully. Otogi might even have felt _sorry _for him at one point; yes, repeat, the teenager actually felt sorry for the billionaire, now battered and bruised. And if that wasn't enough to belittle Kaiba in the eyes of every individual present, Vivian sent one final deadly blow to to Kaiba's gut, making him drop pathetically to his knees and fall face forward onto the marble floor. Otogi thought he might have seen a little drool, though that could have been his imagination.

"Wait, so who let this girl on board?" Jounouchi finally asked, having calmed his laughter to a point where it was possible for him to formulate coherent words without choking on air.

Otogi eyed the unconscious billionaire, who finally looked at peace, something he wouldn't have expected from a man put through a long morning's routine of shouting until he was blue in the face. "Well, it obviously wasn't Kaiba here."

Pegasus looked down at Kaiba for a long moment, a glimmer of folly in his eye before looking back up at the rest of the people and raising his shoulders in a shrug. "Oh, well... You know what they say! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Isn't that right - Vivian, darling?"

In one swift movement, the girl stepped beside the television and turned on her heel to face the contestants, crossing her arms with a curt nod. "He had it coming," she replied; Otogi's jaw dropped at the sheer dismissiveness of the insult.

Pegasus cracked a wide smile and shook his head at his hostess, though he did seem to be sane enough not to attempt to tell her off. "Well then, we'd better stop dilly dallying and get on to the teams, eh?"

"I'm sidin' with Yug' here!" Jounouchi declared, grabbing onto his friend's sleeve and pulling him closer.

"Hold your horses, Joey-boy," Pegasus interrupted, drawing out the "boy" at the end and waving his hand next to his face, making the blonde's eye twitch. "_I'm _going to be deciding how you pick your groups - if you don't mind!" The 'if you don't mind' was snapped out with a certain sort of _force_, something which clearly said '_Don't mess with me'_. Of course, the blonde bristled in reply to that, Otogi wincing a little; he _seriously _didn't like being bossed around, after all.

"Oh, yeah?" Jounouchi's tone was almost getting in a place to rival Kaiba's tone, if that was possible. "Well, get on with it!"

"Hmm..." Pegasus looked up thoughtfully, placing one slender finger upon his chin. "First of all, we're going to have to pick team leaders... But, _oh_! Whoever should I pick? So many choices! I'm _so confused_!"

Otogi let out an exasperated sigh and rested against a wall - it looked like the game master was going to draw this out for as long as possible. He thought Pegasus was only out to tick Kaiba off - but apparently, he was more than satisfied to annoy the whole group while he was at it.

* * *

**END**

**(How 'bout them Yami fangirls, eh?)**

* * *

_**And thus ends another chapter. Alas poor Seto, I knew him... **_

_**Anyway, if you haven't checked out Spooner's chapter... WHAT HAVE I EVEN BEEN TELLING YOU TO DO FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS? JESUS CHRIST! JUST GO, OKAY. You people...**_


	5. Chapter Three

"Otogi!"

The tone was plaintive, almost longing; the word spoken as though an afterthought of sorts. But it was still _his _name.

_No way!_

"Huh?" Otogi straightened his stance and glanced at the man who, if he was not mistaken, had just spoken his name. "Who, me?"

"Yes, Otogi!" Pegasus repeated, now sounding like he was greeting an old friend - but _of course! _The teenager blinked; Pegasus sounded that way, because he was indeed greeting an old friend. He and Pegasus were _friends_, right? And they went back a fair way, right? The older man grinned childishly at him, a grin that seemed more friendly than it had been previously: "You're my first team leader. Now how does _that _sound? Hm?"

_Why? Why is he doing this?_

Otogi's mind raced, but he could not think of an answer to his own questions. "Um... Wow, Pegasus," he replied absentmindedly. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say in this sort of situation, especially since it was hardly the time for a cooking competition. Being a team leader, however, sounded... interesting enough. "Thanks...I think," he decided to add awkwardly, just for Jou's benefit.

"Well? Come on over here!" Pegasus beckoned through the screen, gesturing with his hands for Otogi to go stand beside the scary-martial-artist-girl - _why does she have to be called __**Vivian **__of all things?_

"O-oh...uh... right." Utterly bewildered, his mind still trying to work out the _why _of the whole scenario, Otogi shuffled over to the front of the group, feeling their eyes watch him in confusion well warranted - for if _anyone _were to be a team leader, Otogi would have thought it would be someone like Yugi, or Kaiba - or _maybe _Yami Malik (not that he would _want _Yami Malik to lead anything, but that's besides the point). After all, they were the ones that with the Egyptian God Cards, they were the ones who were leading the battles amongst each other...

...Well, that was it, wasn't it? They were all so _special_, and so hogged the limelight at any given opportunity. To be honest, It made Otogi smirk to think that for once, he was in charge of things, a responsibility that was given to Yugi far, far too often. He'd shown before that he was more than capable of leading; so why not?

_Maybe it's time for a little... change?_

"And as for the next team leader..." Everyone watched Pegasus in anticipation; he twirled his left index finger around in the air, as though mulling over an incredibly important decision - rather than the identity of a team leader in a mere reality TV show. "Hmmm... I wonder..." Crossing his arms, he frowned a little, and looked down. Otogi shifted his weight from one leg to another, exchanging glances with Honda. He wished he were still standing among his friends where he could make a jab at Pegasus to Honda, preferably without alerting the incredibly large man behind him, or the incredibly capable girl to his right.

Seconds ticked by, seconds became minutes, and minutes seemed to stretch an eternity...

"How about Kaiba-boy?" Pegasus finally said - after contemplating for far too long and boring the entire room, including his own employees. Otogi was finding it hard not to giggle out loud at the sight of Yami Malik; who really appeared to have dozed off by this stage. Mokuba directed a sharp glare to Pegasus. "Since we're _such _good friends..." the older man added, returning the young Kaiba's glare with a devious smirk of his own, knowing that the boy wouldn't dare to open his mouth to say a single word.

"What's that, Kaiba-boy? Oh - for a minute, I thought you said you didn't want to be leader... Ah, well. So, Kaiba-boy is our second leader."

Otogi couldn't help but gulp painfully at the thought of competing against someone as fierce as Seto Kaiba. The mere thought sent shivers down his spine; he hoped that there was at least some possibility that Pegasus meant the younger Kaiba, and not the older one.

"But... How is he gonna pick a team if he's..." Mokuba trailed off, unable to continue that sentence because of the humiliating fate his brother had suffered, at the hands of a girl, no less. He stepped forward, trying to fit in his older brother's shoes and take charge of the situation.

"Well, you could fill in for him, Mokie -"

"Don't call me that!" Mokuba snarled, his face twisting into a horrible grimace to match the several glares, grimaces and frowns that his brother had displayed earlier.

Pegasus chuckled, unphased by the display. "Whatever you say!"

Mokuba stomped over to the camera, standing firmly next to Otogi, who glanced down at the younger boy and bit his lip. After all, neither Kaiba seemed like a particularly friendly rival...

...and with that thought, he remembered his musing earlier about poison...

_Uh-oh._

"I pick Isono to be on Seto's team with me!" Mokuba declared with the same authority Otogi had seen Seto demonstrate several times before. "And it doesn't matter who else - just make sure they're not useless!"

The man on the screen raised his visible eyebrow and smiled. "Well, then - what about you, Otogi? You've been awfully quiet. No need to be shy, team leader!"

Otogi stiffened at that comment. Otogi was _in no way _shy! "My first two members will be Honda and Shizuka!" He tried to be just as assertive as Mokuba and show Pegasus that he was _just _as serious as anybody else.

"You know what," Pegasus said, "I think you two are being _far _too predictable." With a cavernous yawn, he and rested his elbow on a table that must have been situated somewhere below what the camera displayed; then, resting his chin in his palm, gave his audience the full benefit of a rolling of the eyes. "Let's get this over with quickly, shall we?" He cast his lazy gaze over Yugi and Anzu, who were standing side by side, much to the irritation of Vivian, who was noticeably vexed - _most likely planning a slow and painful death for the woman who had dared to stand near her man_, Otogi decided. Pegasus seemed to have noticed this, too, for he asked, "What do _you _think, Vivian?"

The girl's face formed a malicious sort of grin as she spoke; "I think Yami should be in Kaiba's team. And _that -_" She lifted her folded fan to gesture at Anzu. "-should be in Otogi's team."

Anzu sent the other Yugi a questioning glance, refusing to move before he nodded slightly, reassuringly, and the two separated to stand in their respective teams.

"Welcome aboard, Anzu," Otogi greeted quietly, as she took a spot beside Shizuka. She shrugged in response and gazed ahead, clearly unhappy with the arrangement.

_And now..._

The only two people left were Yami Malik and Jounouchi. The first was sitting cross-legged on the ground at this point, toying with his knife and cocking his head to the side, looking much like an idle toddler. On occasion, Otogi noted, he gave the flat of the blade a lick, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter; some private joke that the teen had no doubt was a nasty one.

Meanwhile, the second person was tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, glaring at Pegasus through the glass on the screen, huffing in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest - in short, quite actively asserting how unhappy he was that he was the last person to be chosen, aside from Shanky over there and his knife collection.

"Jounouchi'll be on _my _team!" Otogi decided to proclaim before any other words were spoken; he wasn't going to risk having Yami Malik anywhere _near _himself or his team members.

Pegasus smiled wryly. "Well, then, that leaves this lovely fellow! Malik, I think your name was?" His single visible eye rolled to look at Yami Malik, the action causing the young man to snap out of whatever trance he had been in earlier, clambering to his feet with a bemused expression. "Well then, Malik - you'll be joining Team Kaiba!" Pegasus exclaimed festively, gesturing with one slender hand towards Mokuba - whose face was still set in a deep frown, giving Otogi more and more reasons to believe that he was _not_, in fact, a cute grade-schooler.

After a second of awkward silence, during which Yami Malik began to toy with his knife again, the man standing behind Pegasus's TV screen reminded everyone of his presence by announcing loudly, "Your first challenge requires you to create sandwiches for Mr. Pegasus!"

_Well, they're getting right to business_, Otogi thought, cracking an amused smirk at the ridiculous challenge Pegasus had proposed - mind you, it was just like Pegasus to think up something like that. Pulling his eyes away from the sight of Yami Malik whispering to his knife and instead looking at the rest of Team Kaiba he caught the _other _Yugi looking right back at him. In that moment, the other Yugi looked decidedly anxious - although he wasn't sure whether it was because of the competition or not; the fact that his team hardly had any proper cooks certainly was one worth worrying about. Otogi, on the other hand, was quite capable and his abilities along with Shizuka and Anzu could probably help his team take quite a big lead.

"He has several ingredients in mind, and your objective is to get as many of those ingredients into your sandwiches as possible!" the man continued, sounding more like he was announcing to thousands of people rather than a mere dozen.

"How the heck are we gonna be able to do that?" Jou exclaimed, all fired up again; Vivian instantly whirled on him, megaphone raised, as he went for a swear:

**BLEEEP!**

"-you, Pegasus!"

With a goofy grin, Pegasus gave him a quick, teasing "Figure it out!" in reply, before the older man's image blinked out, the TV screen turning blank once more.

"That sleazebag!" Jou cried in outrage - Otogi noting that 'sleazebag' was apparently not a censored word - and the only thing that stopped the blonde from dashing at the screen and absolutely pulverising it was his sister, who meekly held onto his arm, muttering calming words into his ear.

It was pretty safe to say that Jounouchi wasn't planning on being very helpful during the next challenge.

Two notepads were frisbeed towards the two team leaders with what looked like enough velocity to take a man's head off; two pens - more like lethal darts whilst in flight - followed them. "The challenge will start in two hours! You may now make a start on your ingredient lists!"

And with that unnecessarily loud proclamation, the man grabbed the TV stand, turned around, and rolled it through a door situated at the end of the hall. Otogi furrowed his brows watching him go, paying the bickering contestants no mind. That door could have been where Pegasus was staying, but if that was the case, he had to wonder how the older man got past Kaiba's security and onto the ship in the first place. It was more likely that the room was only where the television was being stored, in all honesty.

_Then again - he did create this kitchen, and right under Kaiba's nose_...

Deciding not to waste another moment, Otogi turned towards his team, quietly hoping that his green eyes were burning with determination, and spoke. "Alright, guys, listen up! We need to win this competition quickly, so we can save our friends and get Battle City over with. Now, let's put that ingredient list together!"

For a pep talk, it served its purpose well - short, snappy, encouraging, and to the point - and the results were immediate. Anzu, whose eyes had up until this point been shimmering with worry (and possibly unshed tears), finally set her feelings aside and nodded. "Otogi's right. We need to get started."

As soon as Anzu agreed, so did Shizuka. "I think our side of the kitchen is over there!" With that, the girl pointed directly to the right side of the kitchen. "It's got Jounouchi's Red-Eyes on it, so..." Duke's eye twitched at that; his head bowed a little, as he silently prayed that Jou wouldn't realize that his Red-Eyes Black Dragon was actually being blown up by a grenade thrown by its Toon counterpart _- and don't point that one out, Shizuka, please don't point that out..._

"Alright!" Jounouchi exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air and grinning, the complete opposite of the boy who had just been cursing off Pegasus just a few minutes ago. "Let's kick their -"

_**BLEEEP!**_

Turning towards the girl who had just shoved a megaphone to his face, the blonde scowled furiously in her general direction, now looking more like an angry pit bull than a teenage boy. "Hey! Cool it, airhead!"

Otogi winced a little, but otherwise said nothing. _Sheesh, he changes moods so fast..._

"_What _did you just call me?" Her voice was a quiet growl; the very picture of the calm before a storm. Jounouchi didn't even get a chance to reply, before her eyes narrowed, her vision locking laserlike on her target - then she pounced, an absolute flurry of black, yellow and red. Had the blonde not deserved this punishment somewhat, Otogi would have likely made a move to rescue his teammate; likewise, Shizuka, in spite of the worried expression on her face, opted to stay put and wait out the storm.

* * *

Otogi's was the first team to complete their ingredient list out of the two, primarily because Team Kaiba wasn't exactly getting along, and Otogi was beginning to feel incredibly sorry for the other Yugi. The guy, after all, had to endure both Yami Malik _as well as _Seto Kaiba - whenever Kaiba decided to regain consciousness, that is. The CEO had been taken away to his room shortly after Pegasus left; but Otogi was fairly certain that he wasn't going to get on with the other Yugi very well.

Yes, he was admittedly sorry that the Pharaoh couldn't be on his team - but that wasn't about to stop him from leaving Team Kaiba in the dust.

"So, let's get things started by getting familiar with each of our cooking abilities. How does that sound?" Otogi had gathered his team on their side of the kitchen for discussion - they had all dragged stools for themselves and were now sitting around him, listening intently to what their team leader had to say.

Yes, Jounouchi was actually _listening_, sitting quietly and listening, which caused Otogi to wonder whether or not Vivian's beating had done something to his brain.

"I'll start by saying that I'm a pretty good cook. I mean, I always cooked for myself and my dad..." The raven-haired teen paused for a moment and shut his eyes tightly upon remembering his father, trying desperately not to think about those memories. "Th-The point is," he continued, shaking his head and successfully avoiding a tangent that he could tell some of his friends were about to go on. "I can hold my own in a kitchen. What about you guys?"

Anzu was the first to speak, raising her hand like a student in a classroom, only continuing when Otogi gave her a slight nod. "I'm good at making stews and rice and stuff like that. Oh, and I'm pretty fast at cutting up and peeling vegetables."

"Me too!" Shizuka piped up, leaning forwards in her seat and grinning. "I can make salads. I help my mom out in the kitchen all the time!"

Otogi nodded, noting their abilities. They were both things that Otogi was fairly good at himself, though it didn't hurt to have skilled team members. Additionally, cutting up vegetables may not have been something that would be game changing where making sandwiches was involved, but it could definitely help later on in the game - in short, he was certainly glad he had gotten the girls before Kaiba had managed to get his hands on them.

"I'm not too good at cooking..." Honda murmured, rubbing the back of his neck and giving them a small smile of apology. "I can make a few easy things, like omelettes or cake from a box, pancakes maybe, but other than that, I'm pretty useless. Sorry, guys."

"Nah," Otogi reassured him. "Nothing is useless. Every little bit counts. Besides, I doubt Team Kaiba has _anyone _who can cook, not even Yugi."

Jounouchi let loose with a raucous laugh at that comment, quite obviously trying not to draw attention to the fact that he was the only one who hadn't said anything about his cooking abilities. "Yeah! Yugi can't cook for -"

_**BLEEEP!**_

Jounouchi scowled at Vivian, but wisely decided not to snap this time. "Yeah, yeah... no curse words..."

"What about you, Jou?" Honda asked, leaning towards Jounouchi, a sly smirk forming on his face. It was all Otogi could do to keep a straight face - all three boys knew for a fact that the blonde was about as useful in a kitchen as a Golden Retriever wearing an apron and holding a whisk, and possibly less useful than that.

Nervous laughter overtook the blonde in the midst of his attempts to shrug off the brunette's question. "Yeah, well, y'know... I've got all you guys so I'm sure I'll be fine!" To be honest, the raven-haired teen was more than a bit worried about Jounouchi's lack of culinary prowess, but he decided that a twelve year old, a bodyguard, a psychopath and an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh would probably do little to help Seto Kaiba's team no matter how good a cook he was, _if _the CEO could cook at all.

* * *

It took around half an hour for Pegasus's men to come back with the ingredients they had written down for them; Otogi supposed it had something to do with the fact that the blimp was in the sky. The food was absolutely rushed into the kitchen by what appeared to be a veritable army of men in suits, carrying large brown grocery bags in their muscular arms. They looked absolutely ridiculous while doing so, though Otogi wouldn't say that to their faces; he didn't exactly fancy the idea of being punched in the face.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Challenge One!"

* * *

**END**

**(And so Otogi finally gets the recognition he thinks he deserves...)**

* * *

_**My update's a bit later than Spooner's :D But erm, not too late?**_

_**Also, this is the first chapter on my end that has a bit of info Spooner's doesn't ;)**_


	6. Chapter Four

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Challenge One!"

**WHAM!**

Jade eyes watched one arrogant CEO, at last awoken, burst through the kitchen's double doors with enough dramatic flair to rival Pegasus's own (again - since Otogi valued his life, he wasn't exactly about to say that to Kaiba) and looked around the kitchen before spying the suited announcer and walking over.

_Just in time, of course._

With a yawn, Otogi leaned on a bench, gently tapping the countertop with his nails. Of course Kaiba would deny it flatly, but the brunette sure did have a flair for being fashionably late. The raven-haired teen held tightly onto the handout that had been given to them while they were creating the ingredient lists, which reminded them of the rules, the teams and the challenge objectives, and watched as Kaiba snatched up his own handout from a benchtop in one firm hand, scanning it with his eyes.

He was honestly surprised that the CEO's gaze failed to set fire to the paper, or at least burn a hole through it.

The suited man continued to speak - and just for one fleeting moment, the teen took a chance and met Kaiba's gaze. In that instant, he realized that the CEO had figured out exactly who his opponent was. Otogi shivered, knowing that if Kaiba so desired, he could snap his fingers, and the raven-haired teen would be destroyed and buried in the ground in less than an hour-

And then the moment was over; with a great effort, Otogi pulled away from the brunette's glare, and instead decided to look over at Shizuka, who was smiling her usual warm smile as she stared absentmindedly at the cartoons on the walls.

The announcer stepped into the middle of the kitchen as he went on, now holding Vivian's megaphone to his mouth. She took a position right beside him, eying up her prized possession like a hawk eyes up a mouse; Otogi hated to think of how nervous that man must have felt nervous with someone who was perhaps almost as lethal as Yami Malik standing by his side.

"In this challenge, Master Pegasus is thinking of a certain sort of sandwich! The objective for each team is to get as many of the ingredients he's thinking of into a sandwich or sandwiches as possible, given two hours. Points will be awarded to each team based on creativity, the number of ingredients you guessed correctly, and whether or not we can actually eat the sandwich. Points will be deducted for including Master Pegasus's least favourite ingredients, for eating the sandwiches –by which we mean yours _or _the other teams..."

At this point, Otogi zoned out of the man's reminder. He was already quite familiar with the rules, having read them several times just to be sure; and his mind was already flicking between recipies, formulating the different sandwiches he could create for...

...well, he wouldn't say "_for Pegasus_", seeing as he didn't actually owe Pegasus a single thing. To be honest, he would much rather say "_for Pegasus's challenge_", since that at least didn't imply that every single person on the blimp was there to serve and please the older man.

Removing himself from that tangent, he allowed his mind to settle into a more analytical format; and so then, within the confines of his own head, arranged the exact order in which he would create each sandwich, analysing possible different setups and patterns he could display his creations in, and all the while while splitting the time allotted to them in order to appropriate tasks to each of his teammates - even Jounouchi, who had already been assigned to helping with the beef and chicken, and told to obey Otogi's every word without question. When the gong sounded (a rather elaborate touch on Pegasus's part, the raven-haired teen felt), each member of Team Otogi ran over to their benches to get started.

No sooner had he reached his area, than Otogi was reaching for the beef, unwrapping it, then placing the lump of raw flesh on the chopping board. Not wanting to waste time, he had already ordered his whole team to thoroughly wash their hands, prior to the security men's entrance with the groceries. "Jounouchi!" he called out over his shoulder to the blonde, who was watching with a look of total disgust on his face, eyeing up the raw meat suspiciously. "Here, help me out with these! We need to take _these _spices -" Otogi grabbed a plastic bottle of seasoning and held it blindly behind him. "-and we need to put it all over this beef." The bottle was swiped from his grip a second later, Jounouchi moving to stand beside him at the bench.

The girls, situated at a station in front of the duo, were chopping lettuce and tomatoes, and Otogi couldn't help but admire Shizuka's small dexterous hands as they expertly sliced through the produce. However, barely a few seconds of observation had passed before Jounouchi delivered a headbutt, who would have likely beaten the crap out of the raven-haired teen, had the blonde not been busy with the seasoning. He made a mental note not to ogle Jou's sister while he was around, especially since the look in the blonde's eye promised much worse than a headbutt for the second offense.

On frequent occasion during the cooking time, Otogi would hear Vivian's shrill _**BLEEEP!**_- and he would wonder, usually as he recovered from the temporary deafness, what _exactly _was going on in Team Kaiba's area was, separated as they were from their foes by a floor-to-ceiling set of shelves. If the screaming, near-endless _**BLEEEP**__-_ing and loud crashes were any indication, things weren't going too well on their end. To be honest, it almost made him want to run up to them and rub how well his team was doing right in their faces, all the while hooting like a gorilla - though of course, he _didn't _do that.

And hopefully, you didn't need me to tell you that.

"Hey, where's Kaiba? Haven't heard his voice in a bit."

Otogi looked over at Jounouchi, who had just spoken, smirking a bit that the first of their group to notice the billionaire's absence was the one who claimed to despise him the most. Casting that aside however, he removed several objects from the shelf before him, using the gap to scan the area. What he saw wasn't exactly the perfect example of fine teamwork - Yami Malik was grinning like a Cheshire cat whilst hacking at a lump of cheese, which was probably appropriate considering he was watching Alice Kaiba descend ever deeper into insanity. A bruise on his cheek indicated that he had somehow managed to tick Vivian off. Meanwhile, the other Yugi was simply sitting on one of the stools, arms firmly crossed and scowl to rival Seto Kaiba's as he glared murder at the back of Yami Malik's head. In that instant, he looked more like a very angry angry child who had been sent into time-out than a three thousand year old Pharaoh.

The only only doing anything at all was Mokuba, who seemed to be having a blast as different coloured liquids flew about over his bushy head. Isono simply stood idly to the side, awaiting orders, not even bothering to watch over him -

That was about when a chunk of something that looked like...

_A television screen?!_

...well, whatever it was - it went flying past them, colliding with a distraught-looking Blue-Eyes White Dragon on the wall beside the door and shattering into several pieces. Black glass hit the floor with a dull tinkle; the plastic breaking with a series of ugly snaps.

Every head in the room turned to look towards the front of the room, from which the screen had appeared - and upon noticing the rubble and the panting young man standing in the middle of it, each person of Team Otogi found that they knew _exactly _where the flying debris had come from.

Shizuka was the first to react; she immediately turned and stepped towards Otogi and her brother, grabbing Jounouchi's hand over the bench - an involuntary habit she had picked up - before speaking in a soft voice; seeing as speaking any louder would probably taint the utter silence that Kaiba had caused. "Wasn't that supposed to be a confessional booth?"

She looked at Otogi as she said that, and he thought about it for a moment, trying to mentally piece the shattered pieces together into a booth. After several seconds, he realized that the existence of such a booth was, in fact, very possible - and it would definitely explain a lot. After all, being sent to confessional booth did seem like something that would hurt Kaiba's pride, which seemed to be way too sensitive nowadays in the face of Pegasus, and seriously needed to put its big boy pants on.

"What crawled up _his_-" Jounouchi began, being completely aware of Vivian's super-human hearing and borderline telepathic abilities, and then braced himself for the-

_**BLEEEP!**_

"Looks like _Kaiba-boy _got his feelings hurt!" Otogi remarked with a snigger now that Jounouchi and Vivian had successfully broken the silence in the kitchen. "I wonder what Pegasus did..."

"Try breathing!" Honda replied.

"Or existing," Anzu added, an amused smirk playing at her lips.

"Wearing red on a Wednesday?" Jou asked, one of his trademark goofy grins on his face and a eyebrow comically raised. That made his sister giggle softly, which in turn made Otogi's face redden slightly. The last thing he needed, however, was Jounouchi's shoe shoved in uncomfortable places; and so he decided to look away from Shizuka and order his team to get back to work - by this point, there was barely any time left for the challenge.

Kaiba stormed back to his team, acting as though nothing had happened - and immediately began running his mouth at the other Yugi . Otogi felt more than a bit sorry for his friend, now faced with an angry CEO and a psychopath waving a dismembered Kaiba head he'd somehow carved from his cheese lump, but soon dismissed the thought from his mind, returning to his work area, and arranging the sandwiches his team had created neatly on the white china plates. The team leader had to admit that Honda had done a better job than he had expected - the brunette had managed to both toast the white bread to perfection and neatly chopped off the edges, leaving the ingredients to his other teammates.

"We got this thing in the bag!" Honda exclaimed, grabbing Otogi's shoulders enthusiastically. "Team Kaiba hasn't done a single thing!"

A bell clanged loudly, echoing in the hall and silencing both the teams. "The first challenge is _over_!" Vivian howled at the top of her voice, not even needing to use her megaphone to destroy every eardrum in the room. "Team leaders, please step forward with your creations!"

Feeling incredibly smug , more than satisfied with the luxurious platter of assorted sandwiches that his team had managed to create, Otogi placed the finishing touches on the food, adding the last of the olive topped toothpicks to each one before carrying the plate over to Vivian.

To be honest, he almost gagged at the sight of... whatever it was that Team Kaiba was trying to pass as a sandwich. Kaiba didn't even bother sparing a glance at his opponent, as he confidently handed his blue chunky goop to Vivian. She recoiled from it with a look on her face that indicated definite repulsion with just a hint of sheer terror. Thankfully for her, one of the men in suits took the obscene gelatinous object from her hands before it came to life and ate their poor hostess (who Otogi quietly reckoned would be _sure _to attack Kaiba again, given the opportunity). The man who took Team Otogi's creation away looked incredibly relieved to see that it didn't look like some sort of cthulhu - Otogi thought he almost heard the man _thank _him.

Otogi didn't need Pegasus to tell him that his team was victorious - and the readers really don't need us to tell them, either. It was evident from the look on Pegasus's face when Otogi was brought before him that he had tried to ingest Kaiba's "sandwich" first - and evidently and unsurprisingly, it almost killed him; though, thinking back on the rules discussion, that may or may not have been Mokuba's intention. It's pretty much needless to say that Pegasus thoroughly enjoyed his gourmet sandwich platter a lá Team Otogi and awarded them all of the points for originality, appearance and taste, isn't it?

But we're still saying it.

* * *

**END**

**(We sincerely apologize in advance for any cthulhu related psychological trauma this chapter may have caused)**

* * *

_**Wow, actually updating on Saturday. Welp, there you go!**_

_**And go over to Spooner's end and check out her chapter if you haven't already! Lots of Kaiba-related hilariousness ;D**_


	7. Chapter Five

"And so, the winning team, who will be parading back to their dorms with this fabulous Golden Spatula – though they're quite welcome to stay and watch the other team's elimination if they wish – is..."

Otogi felt his hands tremble in anticipation as Pegasus put a thoughtful finger to his chin, cruelly prolonging the suspense as he delicately wove a quilt of tension out of the very air itself, spreading it wide enough to cover everyone present. And that was pretty much everyone aboard the ship not wearing a suit - the CEO had gathered all of the contestants in the kitchen around his handy dandy television screen, just as he had before the challenge had begun. It didn't exactly bother the raven-haired teen that Pegasus refused to see anyone in person - but he had to admit that, if he were anyone else, this behavior would likely come off as odd.

"Is..."

As the older man opened his mouth and closed again, his gaze flickering to the torn envelope, then to each contestant in turn, a strange mix of excitement and fear fell upon Otogi. Excitement, because he was positive that his team was the victor - and fear because he knew that Pegasus was unpredictable to say the least; so his group's winning was too _obvious_, too good to be true. After all, were he to be declared the winner, he would be victorious against none other than Seto Kaiba - not something to be taken lightly.

_Seto Kaiba..._

With that, a sudden thought crossed his mind that made his heartbeat speed up, his eyes darting around between his team mates for comfort, though none of them seemed very much at ease themselves. It was hard to relax with Jounouchi shifting his weight from one foot to the other constantly, Anzu biting her lip and looking down, and Honda and Shizuka exchanging whispers with each other while glancing briefly at Pegasus every now and again; and so Otogi's own tensions went left unchecked.

The _question_, he supposed, was this: Was the win _too_predictable? If it were, Pegasus would surely cause Team Kaiba to win, if only to buck the expectations of his audience - and besides, Team Kaiba was technically the better team, the team with the more skilled players. Perhaps they had not won _together_, but the raven-haired teen certainly wouldn't have wanted to face any of them individually.

You see, much as he hated to admit it, Otogi knew exactly who the major players were in this game - in _any _game, to be honest - and they were all on Team Kaiba. Of course, there was Seto Kaiba, the CEO of KaibaCorp, a legendary gamer, the one who started the whole Battle City tournament in the first place; none of them would even be on this blimp if it hadn't been for him. Then there was Yami Malik. He was the resident murderous psychopath and the holder of the Egyptian God card "The Winged Dragon of Ra", and while Otogi professed to be no expert on all the strange ancient Egyptian things that his friends told him about, he was pretty sure that an Egyptian God card meant that casting aside Yami Malik's psychopathic tendencies, he was still a very dangerous person. Last, but certainly not least, the team had Yugi - or rather, they had_Yami _Yugi, who seemed to be some sort of ancient Egyptian Pharaoh if the claims of his friends were to be believed. Otogi could be sure about that, but had to say himself that Yugi always did have a certain majestic air about him when he dueled.

And, perhaps most importantly, _none of them had ever appeared to lose a game. _

Taking this last fact into account, Otogi figured that he could be fairly certain that neither he nor his teammates were even _on_Pegasus's radar. It might have been his inner pessimist talking, but he couldn't help but think that this competition was created solely for the three elite gamers, in spite of any hopes Otogi held of merely existing in Pegasus's eyes. As far as Pegasus was concerned, Otogi and his friends were only there to fill in the missing spots in the competition; so they would automatically lose-

"Team Otogi!"

He almost didn't hear Pegasus when the latter announced the winners; and probably wouldn't have if it hadn't contained his own name. The sound of something familiar startled the raven-haired teen out of his worried thoughts, bringing him abruptly into a room with no clapping, no rejoice - just silence and a ridiculous amount of tension, courtesy of a fuming Seto Kaiba. At that, Otogi realized that he really needed to stop getting lost in thought every time Pegasus started talking, though he couldn't help the fact that the CEO's voice had a certain quality to it that made him want to zone out.

"Come and collect your super-special Golden Spatula, and proceed upstairs!"

The young man's eye twitched at the words "Golden" and "Spatula", but he sighed and cast a relieved look over his shoulder at his teammates. For the better or for the worse, they seemed to have the common sense not to question Pegasus's Golden Spatula; and so Otogi decided it was best to just go with the flow, gesturing to his teammates to follow him as he headed towards one of the bodyguards who were standing by the television. He was soon halted when the man held a hand up as if to say '_Wait'_'; and so he waited... waited... waited a bit longer... got bored... kept waiting-

**THUNK!**

At the sudden noise, the boy swivelled on his heel, to find himself staring at Yami Yugi. To his dismay, the Pharaoh now appeared to be pinned to the wall by several knives thanks to Yami Malik, who looked to be merely passing the time; his tosses were careless, the throws lazy. All the same, Otogi had to hand it to the insane teenager - his knives hit as close to Yugi's body as they could without puncturing the skin, which probably required either a lot of training or just a lot of idle knife throwing; the point was that he definitely had skill. The raven-haired teen almost wanted to help Yami Yugi out - but he wasn't quite certain that he fancied being on the business end of one of Yami Malik's knives; and he sure valued his life a lot more than he valued the other Yugi's life, so he opted to stay put.

Just as the team leader was about to open his mouth to ask about the holdup, the double doors at the end of the kitchen burst open and perhaps a dozen men in suits marched through, their legs moving at exactly the same pace.

_Sheesh, how many of these guys does Pegasus have? _

A man he vaguely recognized from his visits to Pegasus's castle stood in the centre of the formation. Otogi had to swallow a snicker at the sight of him; for there he was, tall and muscular, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses - oh yeah, and daintily carrying an elegant, satin, red pillow. Placed upon it, like an exotic jewel from an Indiana Jones film, was the Golden Spatula, gleaming under the bright kitchen lights, casting an almost yellow glow upon the kitchen floors which had, in the time it had taken Pegasus to make his decision, somehow been cleaned to reflective perfection.

The raven haired teen found himself grinning widely as his valuable prize was brought to him, and turned around to give Honda a celebratory thumbs up as Jounouchi did when he'd won a duel - only to find the boy completely enthralled by the Golden Spatula. The brunette's face was a long way from its normal expression, with big brown eyes as wide as saucers, right hand slowly ascending to cover his open, gaping mouth. Otogi rolled his eyes at his friend, who was no doubt visualizing all the things he could buy if he sold that spatula: a bigger house, a nicer car, pretty golddigging girls - the raven-haired teen knew himself that, if that spatula really was _pure_gold, it would surely cost a fortune.

"Come here, Otogi!"

Pride swelled in the victor's chest as he glanced up at the scary man who had stopped him earlier, not moving until he had received a curt nod. He stepped towards the television screen, unable to hide the smile on his face, focused as he was on trying to block out the intense hatred emanating from Kaiba; a rage that rivaled even Yami Marik's usual anger. He wasn't quite sure who the CEO's fury was meant to be directed at, naturally - but chances were, Otogi was candidates one, two, and three.

"Ah, this Golden Spatula of mine..." Pegasus crooned dreamily, as though speaking about an old and tragic love affair, raising a few concerned eyebrows in the process; after all, he _was_into some pretty strange things. Luckily, the speaker managed to save Otogi from his wild imagination just before he could become scarred for life, by continuing on: "Would you like to know how I acquired such an exquisite piece of culinary history?"

_It's not like we have a choice,_Otogi thought bitterly, but that bitterness was neutralized by the high he had achieved earlier by rising to a celestial gaming status and being one of the few people who are able to say that they had defeated Seto Kaiba _and_Yugi Muto at the same time, not to mention being the only person ever to have defeated Kaiba, Yami Yugi, and Yami Marik _all at once._A few idle words from Pegasus were _not _about to bring him down from that electric high.

Not that he was exactly saying a _few _words - no, the silver-haired man absolutely rambled on about his trip to ancient Egypt, though it wasn't very new information. A while ago, Honda had slipped his friend some information about Yugi's earlier exploits in Duelist Kingdom - there, Pegasus had told the crew the story of how he had received the Millennium Eye, which he always hid behind the cascading bangs over the left side of his face. Otogi wasn't sure if Pegasus still possessed that eye, but he figured that removing an eyeball from someone's eye socket wasn't a very pleasant thing, so it was very likely that he hadn't removed it yet.

For a few minutes, the raven haired teen found himself tuning back into the speech, just to check and see if there was anything interesting being said amidst Pegasus's prattle:

"I was actually on my _second _expedition to Egypt - a lovely place, I must say - when I came across a peculiar man. Incidentally, this man saved my life on several occasions - some of you may have seen his image framed on the walls in the very halls you walked during your time in Duelist Kingdom." The silver - haired man here sent a meaningful glance at Yugi and Anzu, the former now jacketless due to it being still pinned to the wall, and the latter having taken this chance to stand beside her friend once again, much to the chagrin of the resident censor and hostess.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Jounouchi asked, clearly getting impatient with the older man. "Can we go now?" He thrust his thumb behind him blindly in the direction of where the door would be, and as Otogi glanced back at him, he didn't have the heart to tell him that his aim was _slightly_off.

"Oh, patience, Joey-boy!" Pegasus snapped at the blond, as though he were scolding a dog that was misbehaving. Jounouchi must have caught wind of that tone, because his eyebrows twitched, and he immediately averted his gaze from the television screen, deciding that the provocative Toon Gemini Elves on the wall nearest him were much kinder than the man he was supposed to be listening to. The man in question paid the boy no mind, as he continued his dull tale about some Egyptian guy named Shadi, and how he was somehow relevant in this cooking competition.

As the older man droned on and on, Otogi sensed the familiar warmness of Honda stepping beside him, the coarse sleeve of the boy's coat rubbing against his bare arm, something which certainly served to irritate the gamer. He stepped to the side, maintaining a fair, non-intimate distance between him and his friend, before attempting to toss over a derogatory comment involving Pegasus's hair and L'Oreal as way of apology. However, his words somehow managed to go unheard, seeming to pass straight through Honda's right ear and emerge from his left. To be honest, it genuinely concerned the raven-haired teen that his friend's first response to a L'Oreal comment wasn't "_Because he's worth it!"_, uttered in that perfectly feminine voice which Honda had an uncanny ability of faking.

Worried a little now, Otogi found himself studying the brunette for any other strange behaviours - not that he had to really look. Honda was definitely in a very odd state at this point; for starters, he was _concentrating_, his body stiff, leaning slightly forwards. His senses were also focused straight ahead - his eyes absolutely plastered to the television screen in front of the two of them, his ears drinking in every word Pegasus spoke; making the raven haired teen think that perhaps his words _hadn't_gone in one ear and out the other, but they had rather bounced against Honda's right ear and flung themselves back at Otogi's face like a rogue rubber band. And _man_did that sting, because it effectively meant that the young man's friend would rather listen to Mr. Campy over there, as opposed to indulging Otogi and responding to his tragically lame shampoo joke. And yes, the joke was lame - but if Honda wasn't there to make Otogi think he was actually funny, what good was he as a sidekick - heck, what good was he as a friend?

"Are you actually interested in all that ancient Egypt crap?" Otogi whispered that the boy beside him, just to confirm that the boy was in fact interested in Pegasus, and glancing around at the rest of his team to make sure that the only attentive teammate was in fact Honda.

"Uh, Otogi, pal? Do you mind? This stuff kinda sounds important." The statement was so shockingly dismissive that it almost shook Otogi to his core quite literally; as he stared incredulously at Honda, his mind worked overtime, trying desperately to fathom the fact that _his friend_, Hiroto Honda, was more interested in what a madman with a gender identity crisis had to say about a freaking _spatula_, than in _the _Ryuuji Otogi and the joke that he had worked very hard on, even if it was a bit lame.

In spite of everything inside of him begging him to tune Pegasus out, the raven haired teen decided to pay a tiny bit more attention to what the man was saying, if only to see what exactly Honda was so interested in. He didn't expect much, and he didn't exactly get more than he expected.

"You see, this Shadi took me down to an old familiar tomb, and I must confess I was a fair deal intimidated as it was in that very tomb that one of the most life-changing experiences in my life had happened. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what _that _was."

_The Millennium Eye, probably._

"That very tomb was the subject of _many_of my most terrifying nightmares, but it was also where I picked up this little trinket!" His eye wandered over to the man standing beside him, or rather the spatula resting upon the small pillow in his henchman's hands. "Trust me, there is more to this spatula than meets the eye!"

_I doubt it... _the raven-haired teen thought, struggling valiantly against the powerful urge he had to make a hideous face at the man who had dared to snatch his friend's attention away; such a move would probably do more to entertain him than to irk him, he reasoned with himself.

"Use it well, Otogi!" Pegasus added at the end of his speech, giving the boy a mysterious smile, his single visible eye twinkling in the light of whatever room he was sitting in. "It might just be the very key to your victory in this..." The madman rolled his eyes over to the seething Seto Kaiba, standing rigidly at the center of the room. "..._stiff_competition." After a small pause to make sure that Kaiba wasn't about to go red in the face at Pegasus's sheer audacity, he spoke his final piece of advice to the winning team. "This spatula may also be the very key to your downfall as well. One must only know _how_to use it!" Otogi wasn't absolutely certain if it was his imagination or not, but he could have sworn that the usually cheerful face turned a shade darker as he spoke his last words - but the change was so quick and before he could have the time to ponder upon this strange expression, Pegasus's men were thrusting the spatula into the teen's unprepared hands.

"U-um... thanks," he said shakily, after attaining an adequately firm grip on the golden utensil. It was smooth to the touch, a bit heavier than he had anticipated, but upon closer inspection, there didn't seem to be anything too special about it - it was just your garden variety spatula.

"Congratulation, round one winners!" Pegasus chimed, and Otogi found himself beginning to realize just how much that voice grated on his nerves. The younger boy rubbed his temples with the hand that wasn't clutching the Golden Spatula and tried to look at the television screen with a straight face. "You can now go back to your chambers for some _well_deserved rest!"

_Finally!_

"Please show them out, Kemo."

* * *

**END**

**(Golden spatulas are serious business)**

* * *

_**Yes, another Saturday... and another chapter ;D**_

_**How do you put Shadi in a cooking fic?**_

_**This is how.**_

_**Also, go forth and read Spooner's half!**_

_**I shouldn't even have to tell you.**_


	8. Chapter Six

_Finally, some time to myself..._

Otogi was at present lounging on his bed in Jounouchi's room, which was empty due to his male roommates' being in the kitchen in order to watch Team Kaiba's elimination round - oh, how _convenient _it was that their female teammates had just _happened _to be there too, they would never have thought they would be watching.

Under normal circumstances, Otogi would have been there saving Shizuka from Honda dearest, but tonight... well, to be honest, things had been so _tiring _lately - what with the angry CEOs, airborne kitchen utensils, and out-of-control censors, not to mention the fact that the cooking round had dragged on and on right through the night. After the rather hectic couple of hours he'd just been through, it was easy to see why he desired some peace and quiet, and when he lay down on the soft mattress, the relief was almost complete and utter silence was very much like taking his nerves out of a frying pan (mind the pun) and into a tub of freezing cold water; he couldn't help but let out a long sigh as the knots in his shoulders and back slowly unwound.

He had to hand it to Seto Kaiba; the man definitely had the right idea in making the bedrooms sound resistant - and the beds were comfortable enough that, were it not for the occasional slight turbulence, he could have shut his eyes and pretended that he was back in his own home. Not that he'd have _wanted _to, of course; if he had really been back at home, he would surely would have been all alone whilst his friends went through - well, whatever you would call _this_- so maybe this blimp wasn't such a bad place to be after all...

_...Yeah, because a place where psychos chuck knives at your mates really is the best. _

He sighed once more at the thought, and raised his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes in slow, soothing circles as he attempted to will his headache away. He would have gone to sleep the moment his body hit the mattress, and he'd had every intention to do so until Honda told him otherwise; apparently, they had to be at full attention at all times whilst the cameras were rolling, in case Pegasus summoned them. Although Otogi wasn't really liking the idea of being on call for a pretentious CEO and his deranged whims twenty-four seven, he reckoned that it was best to simply go along the insanity rather than resist it altogether; as that could have been extremely bad for his health.

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

The noise startled the green-eyed boy out of thoughts - not that he was very deeply immersed in them to begin with, but it still startled him nonetheless. Blinking, he peeled his hands off his face, and glanced over at the door, wondering if he should open it or not - though Honda didn't exactly give him a choice, charging into the room before the raven-haired teen could really process what was going on. The newcomer's face bore a strange sort of _greed_- but it quickly morphed into remorse when he caught sight of his friend on the bed. "S-Sorry, man! Didn't think you'd be asleep," he apologized hurriedly, raising one arm to scratch the back of his neck and letting out a couple of laughs, turning the whole situation awkward - and ironically enough, his snickers were meant to _release _some of his own awkwardness.

Otogi grunted, trying to find his voice, having buried it deep in his throat after a few hours of hollering over shrill, deafening censors and hyperactive twelve year-olds. "S'alright..." he mumbled weakly, the soft, almost whiny tones all he could muster on such short notice. "I - I wasn't asleep anyway..."

The chuckle that came from the more energetic of the two was much more at ease than his first couple of laughs. "Oh - er, that's good!"

The team leader graced his visitor with a small smile, though he did wonder what exactly had brought him there to begin with - he had quite _specifically _asked to be left alone, lest he invoke the near-satanic powers of his fist upon the first unfortunate bloke to bother him. Fortunately for said unfortunate bloke, Otogi couldn't bring himself to move at present, his limbs captured by an overwhelming fatigue, one which threatened to envelop his entire being every time he shut his eyes for even a fraction of a second, making his eyelids feel as though a pair of fifty-ton anvils were sitting on them.

"Whaddya want, Honda?" he asked, not even trying to mask his irritation.

"Ah, yeah... Sorry."

Otogi thought for a moment about attempting to heave himself up into a proper sitting position, but the comforting feel of the soft blanket under him and the dull ache in his lower back made him change his mind. Instead, he decided that the best course of action would be to turn his head slightly to the side and call it a day. He flapped a hand at his friend in annoyance: "C'mon, what is it?"

"Well, uh, Yami Malik kinda sorta totally summoned the Winged Dragon of Ra. It wasn't pretty, and Shizuka's pretty upset about it. You know, it being the card that took Mai down and all..." Honda here paused, and nodded in the direction of the door, indicating the fact that the young girl was awaiting the two of them on the other side. Why she hadn't just come inside herself, Otogi had absolutely no ide-

_Wait. Isn't this a cooking competition?_

_And if so, how the heck did Yami Malik manage to whip out his token duel monster in the middle of Masterchef Domino City?_

"I actually wanted to see if you wanted to come with us to check on Mai and Bakura in the infirmary, since Jounouchi and Anzu wanted to stay behind," Honda added, interrupting the emerald-eyed boy's thoughts; though at least he had the decency to look more solemn than when he had first entered. Otogi could take a gander as to why that was; Mai and Bakura were Honda's _friends_, and if there was anything he had learned from hanging around Yugi and the gang, it was the fact that friendship was a very, very big deal to them. "I mean - it's fine if you just wanna stay here..."

"No," Otogi blurted out quickly, then upon realizing what he had just implied quickly added; "I _meant _to say, of course I'll go with you guys." He struggled to move from his incredibly comfortable reclined position to a sitting position, losing balance several times in the process, but succeeding nonetheless, Honda's shoulder not needed as he made his way down the corridor - even if he _did _wobble a little bit.

* * *

Mai was as stable as she had been the last time they had gone to visit her, a phenomena which had KaibaCorp's all-star medical staff baffled. It wasn't like men of science could really diagnose a missing soul - let alone explain it _logically_- so Otogi couldn't really blame them. However, the concept that only Yugi could save her seriously unnerved him - how could he even be expected to fathom something like that and remain completely calm about it? What if Yugi lost? What then? Were they supposed to accept that Mai was to have a soulless existence for the rest of her life; if not Yugi as well - assuming that if Yugi lost, it would be in a Shadow Game?

He shut his eyes tightly, crushing the bleak images that danced beneath his lids in the process, willing them to go to a dark recess of his mind and stay there. Leaning against a wall, he watched as Shizuka calmly relayed the events of the day to the unconscious blonde. She was the only one in the room who was even mildly lighthearted - Otogi himself was sedulously working on keeping his mind out of a dark place, and Honda-

-wait, what exactly _was _Honda doing, anyway?

The raven-haired teen looked over in the direction of the couches where the brunette was now lounging idly, frowning when he caught sight of a gleaming object in his friend's hands. As it happened at that moment, _Honda _of all people was currently in possession of the thing that Pegasus had given Team Otogi, and was currently up to the light, gazing at it as though it were a prized diamond. When had he gotten his hands on that? The team leader had kept it in the dorm room - it wasn't a really big deal that Honda had it, but hadn't it been it _his _idea to go check on Mai?

With his frown deepening to a scowl and a sigh of exasperation, Otogi strode swiftly over to Honda, fully intending to give the boy a piece of his mind - only to stop in his tracks when he noticed the strange glimmer in those chocolate brown eyes. That - well, _that _was almost an obsessive look - so Honda wasn't just _looking _at the thing, he was almost _memorizing _it..

Regaining his composure, Otogi spoke up. "Hey, Honda," he growled, crossing his arms over his chest - but still, the brunette's attention was completely ensnared by the golden utensil. Tapping a shoe in impatience, the raven-haired teen cleared his throat audibly, hoping to break his friend out of the spatula-induced trance he was in.

"Uh, yeah?" Honda replied, brown eyes meeting with jade for a split second, before the former redirected his gaze to the all-glorious spatula.

_There's something about that thing..._

* * *

**HONDA**

Honda, sadly enough, couldn't quite pinpoint what it was about it that left him mesmerized by it, much to Otogi's irritation.

"That thing had better be capable of saving Mai" - and here, the raven-haired boy nodded in the spatula's direction, before lowering his voice to a hiss - "because you've been staring at it for a good ten minutes!" Honda couldn't help but notice the way in which his mate then glanced over his shoulder, clearly trying not to alert Shizuka of this minor spat. Thankfully, she was in the middle of telling Mai about Kaiba's shouting match with Pegasus and the aftermath that left the confessional booth in shambles, and had not appeared to notice.

"Sorry," Honda replied sheepishly, putting the spatula down on his lap grudgingly and prying his gaze away from it. "I was just..." He searched his mind in vain for something he could say to his friend that would justify staring at a spatula for ten minutes - but there really isn't a good reason to stare at any cooking utensil for longer than a few seconds, so he really was lost for words. After a moment in which the only sound in the room was Shizuka's cheerful babble, Honda spoke up again. "I should probably give this back..."

"No," Otogi interrupted. "Just keep it. It's not like I'm ever going to use it anyway." It was a spatula made of gold - no, scratch that. It probably wasn't even _made_of gold. Hell, chances were it was simply gold-plated, and there was no room in a kitchen for an extravagant spatula; he'd much rather stick to good old stainless steel.

"Actually, may I have a look at that?"

The voice was much too feminine, even for Otogi's admittedly extensive vocal range, so Honda correctly assumed that it had come from a third party. The duo turned their heads and laid their eyes on the newcomer.

_Ishizu._

How the woman had escaped Pegasus's elaborate cooking competition, neither of them could even guess, but Honda did at least know it was _mighty _convenient for her. She stood before them now, posture much straighter than the teenage boys in front of her, arms straight, her hands folded neatly over her abdomen, looking as though she was completely unaware of the battle royale cookoff that Pegasus had planned for everyone.

_Fat chance of that._

Of course, Honda had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue - but at a single warning glare from his friend, he managed to swallow it and tone down the scowl on his face along with it. Otogi, the unmistakably more agreeable of the two, decided to reply. "Ishizu? How - erm, uh, I mean - how have you been doing?" It was undoubtedly a strange feeling, having casual conversation with this woman; after all, they hadn't had many chances to speak to her prior to this moment due to her being at the center of the whole Malik problem. The only people to actually speak to her throughout the tournament were Yugi, Kaiba and her brothers - everyone else on the blimp had simply figured out long ago that it was best to leave her to her own devices, just so long as she wasn't destroying people such as her younger brother.

The Egyptian woman closed her eyes as though in exasperation, but there was no biting insult; she merely nodded politely in response. "I'm doing well. Thank you, Otogi."

Shizuka's airy laugh rang clear amidst the awkward silence that had spread throughout the Ishizu-dominated area of the infirmary. "I feel so sorry for Kaiba, but you _have _to see how he's taking this, Mai!" With that, the girl giggled again, placing a delicate hand to her lips and throwing her head back ever so slightly.

"You know what? I think I'm going to hang over by Shizuka", Otogi announced, before retreating from the unnerving silence in favor of entering the cheerful atmosphere that the ginger haired girl had somehow managed to create all on her own. Ishizu and her new companion watched Otogi settle beside Shizuka, before Honda decided to begin pressing the older woman for answers concerning the mysterious golden spatula he was so oddly attracted to.

"You said you wanted to take a look at this," he stated - although it sounded more like a question in context, as he held the precious object towards her.

Malik's older sister eagerly took the spatula in her slender hands, holding it up to the light for a moment as though confirming its authenticity, before directing her attention towards the anxious teenage boy in front of her. "This item in particular has been lost in translation. It's so fascinating, seeing it right here in front of me... touching it..."

"What is it?" Honda asked her, sounding a tad more aggressive than he had originally intended to, balling his hands up into fists by his side. He didn't know why, but some small fragment of his being was pushing him hard, telling him to milk the Egyptian for as much information as she was worth, wanting to know as much as possible about this golden treasure.

To the teenage boy's utter disenchantment, the woman responded with a swift shake of her head. "Not much is known about this spatula. It is rarely spoken of in ancient Egyptian texts and tablets." Honda's brown eyes dimmed at the sound of such unsatisfactory news, but before he could say anything back, the woman spoke again. "There was talk in some of the scriptures about a..." Ishizu's voice was lost in her throat as she thought about whether or not to continue speaking, but after a split second's worth of thought, she continued. "...an eighth Millennium Item," she added, the volume of her voice a hint lower than it had been before.

Adopting the same hushed tone as the Egyptian without really knowing why, Honda asked, "Are you saying this thing is a Millennium Item?"

"It's quite possible," she murmured. It was hard to make out what Ishizu's thoughts on the matter were as her face was an expressionless mask all throughout her speech and her tone was businesslike and devoid of emotion. Was she concerned that there was quite possibly a fifth Millennium Item on the blimp, or did she simply think it was an interesting turn of events? "I advise you to take heed when you use it, because cooking may not be its only use." With those ominous words, the older woman handed the spatula back to its new owner and turned around, her white dress dancing around her legs as she did so, before she made her way out of the infirmary; she no doubt wanted to to get back to her brother, Rishid.

Though Ishizu was gone, her influence lingered, as her words continued to echo in Honda's inspired mind. He sat back down on the couch and watched Otogi and Shizuka chatting animatedly with an unconscious Mai, feeling - no, not _left out_,but more like _distanced. _Of course, he knew he should have been with them, joining in on the fun, but his mind couldn't help but go back to the enigmatic artifact; he didn't _want _to talk, he wanted to think. If Pegasus's words weren't enough to excite Honda, then Ishizu's had definitely left him more than a little interested in the spatula.

_A Millennium Item, ehhh?_

* * *

**END**

**(And so an eighth Millennium Item surfaces...)**

* * *

_**If Ishizu says so, then it must be true ;D**_

_**Hope you enjoyed this one. Things are beginning to get **_**very different on my end, compared to Spooner's end.**

**If you want to know what's going on with Seto Kaiba and Co. you ought to go to Spooners fic, which now has a nice convenient little link on my profile in case you're too lazy to search for it on your own ;)**


	9. Chapter Seven

"Hey, guys," Honda mumbled, stepping through a pair of bland, sliding, steel doors, and into a surveillance room that was quite the opposite - perhaps once as plain as the doors, but now decorated by Pegasus for the competition, all Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon logos, glittering screens. and faux cooking utensils. To be honest, it looked more like a private home movie theatre than a surveillance room, in no small part due to the three rows of black leather seating and a large cinematic scale LCD screen serving as a fourth wall, displaying all the action in full color and intricate high definition. One could almost have mistaken the television for a window, were it not for the occasional close up shots of the contestants.

There had used to be an observation gallery, but Honda and the rest of Team Otogi, save for the team leader himself, had all been told that it had been closed due to rising tempers down in the arena - that was just before things had gotten a tad out of hand, and Honda had to remove Shizuka from the room lest she create a dark side of her own, and wreak havoc on everyone aboard the blimp - which, hindsight, seemed like it could have been a rather interesting turn of events.

Honda sighed at the lack of an answering greeting, taking in the room from the doorway. He had decided (very reluctantly) to leave Otogi and Shizuka in the infirmary with Mai and Bakura, hoping that faith alone - or at least the presence of the two unconscious patients - would fend off his friend's lecherous advances and protect Jonouchi's oh-so-pure younger sister. That made him grimace; all through the long walk down the corridor, he hadn't been able to stop himself from thinking of all the things that _pervert_could be doing with her now, and now the images came rushing back - first the gentle touches, then a little flirting, then maybe something with the spare bed (gods, _no!_)- and it was all he could do to prevent himself from slamming his fist into the wall beside him as the dreadful images built up. Still, Honda had an obligation to be there for Yugi and help him through this elimination match - after all, what was skill when you didn't have a couple of friends sitting in chairs and helping you win with their sheer belief and will power? Even if you discounted all the duels he'd seen previously, the brunette could easily say that from the last cooking match alone, Team Kaiba only lost because of their lack of encouragement.

_Speaking of friends... _

Anzu and Jonouchi were sitting front and center, leaning forward in their seats, and Honda didn't need to see their faces to know that they were very concerned with the progression of Team Kaiba's elimination round. Currently, the enormous screen displayed an image of Seto Kaiba looking less like a stone statue than usual and more like a deer in the headlights, his form now outlined by a full set of knives decorating the wall behind him that Honda could only guess had been hurled at the unfortunate CEO by Yami Malik.

The newcomer slowly stepped past the aisles and towards the first row of chairs to take his seat beside Anzu, immediately assuming the same hunched over position as his two friends, digging his elbows into his thighs and bringing his hands together, chin resting on top of his entangled fingers. The three were truly a sight to behold, looking more to their idle observer like angry gargoyles perching atop a tower than a handful of concerned friends. The idle observer in question was none other than Pegasus J. Crawford, who 'sat', in a way, beside the group; though he was presumably in some other room, his visage showed on the now trademark television screen, a man bigger than both Honda and Jonouchi put together standing by.

The brunette ignored the older man's friendly wave in his direction, silently weighing the times he had seen Pegasus in person against the times he had seen the man on a digital screen. To be honest, he had to say that it wasn't often that he had actually been in the same room as Pegasus - there was Duelist Kingdom, but not much else. It ticked him off to no end that a man would think so highly of himself that to be in the same room as someone he deemed unworthy would be such a horrifying concept for him, then again, it wasn't always a question of Pegasus thinking highly of himself; the older man probably thought that the way he was stringing everyone along was the epitome of comedy, a masterpiece that only a man as twisted and psychotically genius as Pegasus could concoct. He doubtless adored the way he could tap dance over everyone's patience in his designer leather shoes and five thousand dollar suit and get away with it, all the while having some _golden_lines tossed his way from his favorite toy, Seto Kaiba.

_At least I'm not 'Kaiba-boy'..._

Honda's attention was distracted by the sight of Yugi's face on the screen, the visage almost as tall as Yugi himself and several times as wide, here portrayed in stunning detail - too much detail, judging by the tiny drops of spittle sliding down his chin. Their friend was clearly in a rage, eyes narrowed, the spikes of his hair blowing about, perhaps by an offscreen fan or an open window (but an open window at this altitude - really?). As the Eye of Anubis lit up on the teenager's forehead like some sort of unholy Christmas light, each and every person in both the kitchen and the audience knew that Yugi was long gone and that they were now in the presence of an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh - well, maybe except for Kaiba, bless his stubborn little soul.

The Pharaoh's voice boomed through the surround-sound speakers, stirring tremors throughout the room and startling the trio out of their concerned trances and into slightly more concerned trances. "You trespassed in the soul of my… uh…" Yami Yugi paused for a moment after this, his face taking on a dangerous shade of uncharacteristic crimson and his cheeks puffing out ever so slightly "…_friend". _The word might not have been audible on Team Kaiba's end, but it was broadcast loud and clear in the small viewing room, so loud, in fact, that it left Honda's ears ringing (though that may have been due to the words that preceded it).

"The _point _is, you have trespassed. And now, you are going to pay!", he snarled, and then _wait what was that-_

_leeeeet meeeeeeee ouuuuuut_

The voice was so quiet that Honda wasn't even sure if he had imagined it or not, leaning forwards even more in order to see Anzu and Jonouchi's faces. However, neither of his friends had heard anything, and he couldn't really blame them; Pegasus had set the volume of his speakers to "Apocalyptic", and it was likely impossible for them to hear their own thoughts, let alone whispers that may or may not have simply been figments of Honda's imagination. As the boy leaned back, however, his gaze was suddenly drawn to Pegasus's single eye - the teen could almost swear that the CEO was giving him a knowing look. Then again, most of Pegasus's looks were knowing, so how significant this look in particular may have been was a complete mystery to the teen, as he sagged back in his chair.

_let me out _

_honda_

Honda's back straightened up immediately at the sound. He was almost certain he had heard his name being called, just then.

_hiroto honda is your name? ironic_

And then it was no longer just a voice; the boy could see two brown eyes just out of the corner of his vision, every bit as vivid as the high-definition image of Yami Malik's boogers on the television screen as the Egyptian flailed about, yelling out a string of seemingly random words.

_look at me when i'm talking to you_

The dark eyes were staring into Honda's own, so very distracting from what he was meant to be watching - and though sound could easily be misconstrued in an atmosphere such as the one around them in the observation lounge, there was no way he could have mistaken the fierce gaze for anything other than _commanding_. He found himself turning to face it, feeling it bore into his very soul through poorly guarded windows and shoddy padlocks, and then, as the thing came into full view, Honda came to the conclusion that something, somewhere, had just gone terribly wrong.

_look at me_

After all, the being standing in front of him couldn't possibly have been real. It just... it simply _wasn't logical_, and in a world where logic was being stepped on, burnt and defiled in every way possible, Honda liked to hold on to what logic he could. This wasn't real. It couldn't have been real. It.. it... just couldn't...

_recognize me?_

"Holy -"

**BLEEEP!**

"Sorry I'm late!"

Honda's revelation was rudely interrupted by an unfamiliar person dashing into the room, a very tall man with legs that rivalled even Seto Kaiba's own and long aquamarine hair that caressed his ankles as he walked. In one of his large, thin hands, he carried a megaphone not unlike the one that Vivian had on her at all times, and if Honda were to go out on limb, he would say that this strange man was Pegasus's second censor.

As was the newly founded ritual on the KaibaCorp blimp, all eyes went on Pegasus to introduce the newcomer, even Honda just managing to tear his gaze away from whatever had nearly ensnared it; and the older man was let out an odd, musical sound best described as a giggle, joyfully waving both hands onscreen to gesture at the tall man. "Allow me to introduce you to my close friend and fellow businessman, Dartz!" At this, the tall man bowed low to the ground; though the cynical grin and the flourish of his megaphone indicated that he was less than respectful towards his 'friend'.

"He has kindly offered to help me out and will be acting as Vivian's co-host and second censor. Isn't that positively wonderful?" The CEO let out another one of his high-pitched giggles, and clapped his hands together like an excited little boy on his birthday. To be honest, this probably was a birthday moment of celebration for him - one where his birthday presents were all angry teenagers and seriously offended Egyptian Pharaohs, but different people have different tastes.

"Yeah, it's not that I ain't excited and all, but why do we need two censors?" Jonouchi asked, getting to his feet and placing a mental meter rule on his head to measure the height difference between Dartz and himself, and have (read: _force_) the kindly voice in his head reassure him that it wasn't that bad.

"Ah Joey-boy..." A sigh slipped through Pegasus's lips and smacked the seething blonde on his head. "When it comes to the innocence and wellbeing of Ryo-Ri-Oh's readers, you can never have too many censors!"

_Readers? Seriously? _

Nobody was really sure what that raving lunatic was going on about, however, as this was the case with Pegasus most of the time, nobody really thought much of it. He shrugged then shook his head with a sly smile, and it was clear that there was a joke lingering somewhere in the air that only someone as mad as Pegasus could see.

Honda rolled his eyes then surveyed the room quickly, scanning over every dark corner and crevice for the person he had just seen, cursing Dartz silently for making him lose sight of the apparition - _no, _it couldn't have been an apparition; that person had been standing _right there_in plain sight. And its gaze... yes, that person was indubitably _real_; real enough to touch, as real as the room and the people standing in it (or at least present in Pegasus's case).

_Where did he go?_

_i'm never gone_

At the soft words behind him, Honda immediately whirled in his chair, looking for the source of the voice, not even minding the people around him giving him concerned looks - well, all except for Jonouchi, who had a thoughtful finger at his chin and was currently attempting to phoneticize "Ryo-Ri-Oh" looking incredibly downcast as he did so.

_Where is he?_

_right behind you_

The startled teen jerked his vision back to where it had initially been, his eyes widening when he saw the person again, standing exactly where he had been before Dartz's intervention.

"Holy-"

**BLEEEP!**

Dartz bowed mockingly once more, smirking a little as he lowered the megaphone. "Sorry about that."

"I-It's no problem," Honda stuttered, pausing a moment-

_over here moron_

_-_before he went right back to staring at the _thing_.

_You look just like me. _

_tell me about it_

From the features of his face, to the point of his hair, to the clothes on his body, this apparition was Honda's very own doppelganger - but _how_?

_don't ask me i wouldn't have a clue, _the second Honda snickered, raising an eyebrow, and the original Honda averted his gaze immediately, looking around to see if anyone else could see two identical people in the room - but judging by the expressions on everyone's faces and the fact that they were all settling back into their seats to resume watching the elimination round, nobody else could see the second him. Deciding to imitate everyone else, the original Honda shifted back in his own seat, pretending to be completely oblivious to the existence of the phantom Honda. After all, seeing phantoms wasn't exactly normal unless everyone else in the room could see them too...

_otohir dahon_

_Eh?_

_that is my name i'm very famous, _the spirit replied. Honda still wouldn't look at him.

_ignore me all you like but it won't stop me_

_Stop you? _the teen thought, Otohir's words ringing warning bells in his head.

_shut up,_the doppelganger snapped with a grimace. _turn off those bells because you can't stop me you can't stop me you can't stop can't stop cAN'T sTOP-_

Startled by the sudden distortion of its mind-voice, suddenly a deep bass growl, Honda finally made eye contact with the spirit, only to find that it was now lunging towards him, its eyes no longer that same familiar brown but a seemingly pool of red. Time seemed to slow for a moment as the spirit closed in, its leap something like that of a pouncing lion, its teeth certainly sharp enough to carry the simile. The boy's first instinct was to fling his body away from the damn thing, to get out of the way, but one alien word hissed from between the spirit's clenched teeth froze him in place, there was no escape from whatever it was going to do-

_ahahaha otohir_

_You total-_

**BLEEEP!**

Dartz proved to be an even more annoying censor than Vivian, putting his whole heart and soul into hollering into that megaphone and making sure that there was no earthly way that _anyone _could have heard what Honda had meant to think; and as suddenly as it had appeared, the ghost was gone, leaving the boy to flop back in his seat.

Saved by the censor, but for how long would he be safe? He needed to be constantly vigilant, he needed to find some way of getting rid of that thing permanently; if it even existed, if it was even dangerous.

_What was it planning...?_

At that thought, the boy looked over gratefully at their censor, then at Pegasus. The former hadn't seemed to notice anything, but the latter was now giving Honda a mysterious smirk - one that made the teen almost believe that the CEO had seen everything that had just gone on between him and his doppelganger - but then again, what with Jou and Anzu sitting beside him and watching the match, looking like they hadn't noticed a thing, he had some serious doubts. At least one thing was for sure: That censor drove the spirit away.

Perhaps he could use that fact to his advantage...

* * *

**END**

**(And so Jonouchi attempted to pronounce the name of this fic, and it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life.)**

* * *

**_We're breaking the fourth wall again ;D_**


	10. Chapter Eight

"Alright, so rule forty-nine states that…" Seto Kaiba murmured to himself, his wide back hunched over his work station as he leaned over-

-_well_, from where Honda was sitting, he couldn't exactly tell _what_Kaiba was leaning over. All the same, the teen reckoned that he could be fairly sure in his guess - judging from the way Kaiba's neck was twisting right and left, Whatever It Was must have been some kind of book, though the younger, less wealthy boy had little clue as to what sort of book it was, being both younger and poorer than Richie McRich Rich on the big screen. And even if he _hadn't _been younger than Kaiba - heck, what did multi-millionaires even _read? _Were their books bound in authentic leather and bedazzled with real diamonds? Was the handwriting in monk-like calligraphy, with stupidly ornate illustrations on every third page? Heck - was the text laced with gold; were the very pages themselves _made _of gold?

Or, perhaps, did multi-millionaires simply read normal books, just like everyone else? Honda had to hide a grin at that - maybe that rule _did _apply to normal multi-millionaires, but Kaiba wasn't exactly normal. This was, after all, a man who owned a Blue-Eyes White Dragon jet, and had replaced all his gargoyles with Blue-Eyes White Dragons, so Honda wouldn't be surprised if his books really _were _made of gold - or, more likely, of silver, so it could better match the dragon's scale colour. His books might well be bedazzled - with Blue-Eyes-White-Dragon-shaped diamonds, that is, not a single beast looking out of place in the man's immense private library (which was, of course, shaped like the swirls on the back of a duel monsters card).

In fact, since the whole match appeared to have been halted, time allocated for Seto to go through his book, Honda found himself idly filling his mind with images of a Duel Monsters - themed mansion; the bookends could be Obelisks, and the fireplace an Ultimate Blue-Eyes with three gaping mouths seeming to spew fire. It was all an enormous fantasy, of course, but with Kaiba being Kaiba - well, the CEO might just have found a way to make a dream reality. The brunette soon wondered if either of the Kaiba brothers would be willing to allow him to take the grand tour of the mansion - or even better, maybe they could give him a room to stay in whenever he was in the area. He made a mental note to ask Mokuba about that later.

_Hah, I wonder what he'd say… Wait, he's the nice one, right?_

Honda strained his mind to think if the kid had ever wronged him and his friends before, his mind reaching with outstretched fingers into the back of his mind, pushing past the boy's wide cerulean eyes, pinchable cheeks, and innocent grin to get to the attempted murder, theft, and kidnapping.

_...Oh._

Finding that thoughts of the Kaibas were no longer very appealing, Honda decided to give some of his attention to the conversation his companions were having. As with many conversations, he remained silent throughout - but this time, he had something of a reason for doing so. Much as he would have liked to speak, in order to get his mind away from what currently occupied it, he wasn't exactly feeling up to being a very active part of the discussion after that strange encounter with his doppelganger.

"Say, erm, whaddya think ol' Scrooge McBucks is looking at?" Jonouchi asked Anzu, leaning forwards in his seat - as though this could completely change his perspective, make him see something in the screen that he hadn't spotted yet; as though the mere act of leaning forward could propel his vision past the massive wall that was Seto Kaiba's back and show him the mysterious object the CEO was poring over.

"I don't know… He looks really stressed out, though…" Anzu replied, her eyes seeming to hover a moment on the rigidness of the older boy's back, the tense muscles and hunched shoulders only accented by the fact that it was being displayed at three times its original size on the television screen in front of them.

"_My, _Joey-boy! I knew you were a bit light on the brains, but I didn't know you were _that _dull." The three teens switched their gaze to the smaller display standing to the side of the leather seats and the image of the man looking at them through the glass. Pegasus's eye glimmered with his usual mischief, though at this point, it wasn't even notable since his eye tended to glimmer very often. It was actually beginning to get a bit old.

"Hey! Hey! Whaddya mean by that, _goldielocks_?" the blonde boy hollered; craftily avoiding a curse word this time, in order to keep his ears safe from the blaring megaphone that Dartz was currently holding as though it were a loaded rifle.

"I'd watch your tongue if I were you," the CEO threatened, leaning his head down, his face darkening slightly - and just for a moment, the Pegasus in front of them wasn't the same man who played with cartoons. His free brown eye glinted harshly in the light from the screen, his expression stony, even _intimidating_- he was clearly letting all present know exactly who was running this show, and he was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Even Jounouchi, who was usually the first to get fiesty when faced with a challenge, shrank back from _that _face.

With a dark chuckle, the older man continued to speak. "I don't have this handsome fellow standing behind me to look pretty, you know. As for what I meant - and I do believe that _goldielocks _is a term better befitting _you_, Joey-boy-"

During the slight pause, Jounouchi opened his mouth, then wisely shut it again, allowing Pegasus to finish his sentence.

"-Kaiba-boy is obviously looking at a book."

"Ain't those forbidden or something?", Jonouchi asked, shivering a bit at the change in atmosphere.

"Yeah, aren't recipe books cheating?", Anzu murmured. In order to look at Pegasus, she was leaning forward in her seat as much as her back would allow - and, thankfully for the dancer, that was quite a bit.

Regaining his aloof composure, Pegasus dropped his head slightly into his raised hand, the movement ruffling his silver bangs ever so slightly, before it settled into its perfect state once more, not a single hair out of place. "Well, I never exactly made a rule against having a recipe book. Then again, maybe I should have…" With a relaxed laugh, and a small gesture of his hand, he raised his head to look at each of them in turn. "Ahhh, silly me!", he exclaimed, sounding nothing like the powerful and intimidating man he had been minutes prior to this exchange.

_What mood swings - almost as bad as Jounouchi..._

Speaking of which, the blonde clearly hadn't learnt anything from his earlier verbal mistakes; no, he was getting angry all over again. "'Silly you'?" , the blonde growled; sarcasm was beginning to seep into his voice now, and Honda guessed that if the guy became any more angry, Jounouchi might just find himself restrained.

This time, however, Pegasus appeared to be unfazed by the growling, choosing instead to voice his own threat quite openly - even _cheerfully_, as his voice took on an undoubtedly musical tone. "Watch it, Joey-boy. My friend over here is getting restless! And we like to keep things PG here if we can." With a luxurious yawn, the man shrugged his shoulders, resting his arms on a table that Honda guessed probably existed somewhere off-camera. "Besides, that book is obviously the Player Handbook. Ahhh, such amateurs..."

_Player Handbook? Amateurs?_

The _things _Pegasus said sometimes…

Honda rolled his eyes in disbelief - unfortunately, the movement had him catching a glint of gold in his vision, and soon he was gazing down at the Millennium Spatula. The dratted thing was sitting innocently on his lap, as though it _hadn't _just unleashed an ancient spirit that threatened to take over his body the moment he let his guard down (or at least, Honda assumed that the whole spirit thing was the Spatula's fault). The thing was… well, it looked so _mundane_. So _harmless_, so-

_hoooondaaaaa_

_Yeah, yeah, Otohir, moan all you like,_he grumbled in his head. _It's just not gonna happen._

_oh? i had… other ideas..._

That was about when the ongoing discussion between Pegasus and Honda's friends faded away at the edges, blurring and distorting, the overall effect making the poor brunette's head seem to spin. With a desperate effort, Honda attempted to get a firmer grip on his seat arm, even as he clung to his consciousness with every last ounce of his strength he could muster - which wasn't much, for the record. In fact, the teenager's strength was so pitiful at this point, so very _depleted _from his earlier efforts, that his descent into unconsciousness could almost be called completely voluntary, in that when the command to sleep came, he was almost happy to obey, because he really was tired, so very tired...

* * *

It was a scene that wouldn't really have looked out of place in a certain _other _kind of fic, to be honest; a moderately attractive teenager, waking up one morning with little idea of what had happened last night, knowing only that every last bone in his body _hurt_. That's how so many of them begin, isn't it - and tell you what, let's say that his _chocolate orbs _opened when the _shimmering sunlight _came through the _crystal _glass of the window, and are you sick yet?

_Thunk._

Honda certainly was feeling ill, but for different reasons. You see, this was _his _bedroom he'd just woken up in - the very room he left behind in Domino City when he boarded the KaibaCorp blimp, and had so walked right into this entirely strange course of events. As he rolled onto his side, lazily taking in the bed, the armoire, the desk, the piles of laundry on the floor, he figured that things were surely only about to get weirder.

_Thunk._

What had happened, to have made him leave the airship - that was the question, and he doubted he was going to like the answer. Had he somehow ended up in an alternate dimension? Was this the afterlife? Heck, had he simply been unconscious the whole time - and if so, how long had he been unconscious _after _that? A week? A month? Many months?

_Thunk._

Honda's eyes went wide - instincts said that if you heard a soft noise once, it could just have been you, twice semi-confirmed the noise as existing, and three times was definitely a worry. Something was definitely off about this whole scenario, and so he highly doubted that the noise was, say, someone chopping up vegetables out in the kitchen-

_Thunk._

Whatever was out there, the sound was coming from his door - his sharp eyesight could see the timbers vibrate slightly with each _thunk_. Something was presumably trying to get in - and it wasn't like Honda was going to know exactly what the something was, not until he had opened the door. Against his better instincts, he pushed himself up off of the ground and got to his feet, steadying himself with the mahogany closet to his right.

**BANG!**

That made him jump; that was definitely a louder sound, certainly a more aggravated one; and it became even more impatient with each **BANG **that passed. Honda irately rubbed at his temples, massaging the strained nerves - but it was a futile act because each **BANG **on the door only served to suckerpunch straight into the core of his brain, making the headache only worse. All too soon, it seemed, he was wincing, gritting his teeth; then his breathing hitched, and through the slit his lids allowed, he could see the door in shades of red. Snarling in borderline agony, he stalked towards it - even though each footfall made the searing pain increase, extra noise on top of that annoying banging - which was, for the record, getting _worse_, amplitude increasing in a steady crescendo.

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

Honda moved with the pain as though he were possessed by it; staggering over to the door with one arm extended and the other still pinching the skin on the side of his head - and only when his hand was on the handle did the teenager actually began to question whether or not it would be the smartest decision to open the door. Still, there was no question that opening the door was the only way to make the pain stop-

**BANG!**

"Rrrgh!", he growled softly, reeling back from the door and bringing both hands to his head.

_Why won't it just... stop?_

_hondaaaaa_

_Oh no, it's him-_

**BANG!**

_hey hey listen, it's not polite to keep your guests waiting... hondaaaaa_

The boy raised his head, and then he absolutely shrieked at the wooden frame: "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU-"

**BLEEEP!**

The **BANG **softened to a more hesitant sort of **bang?**,but it did still persisted, and the softer, more hypnotic sound did little to soothe Honda's pained nerves. The boy retracted his arm from the door handle, as though he had accidentally touched a hot stovetop; it was definitely dangerous to keep his hand there, especially now that Honda knew how to get rid of the monster out there.

"I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR-"

**BLEEEP!**

"ALWAYS-"

**BLEEEP! BLEEEP! BLEEEP! BLEEEP!**

"AND ALL THE TOASTERS-"

**BLEEEP!**

"SO YOU CAN JUST-"

**BLEEEP!**

"FLOWERPOT-"

Sure, Honda had let out the occasional swear in the middle of the gang fights he so often seemed to be involved in - but never before had such a flowing river of slurs emerged from his lips, and though he confessed that he wasn't quite as creative as Kaiba was, he had admittedly done a decent job for a first-timer. What was even better was the fact that the sound had diminished completely. Sure, thenear-constant **BLEEEP**-ing that had just rung in Honda's ears wasn't exactly _pleasant_, but at least he actually had some control over that.

Things were looking up, and the teen smiled at the realization of this - sure, the pain in his head wasn't gone, but it had dulled to a steady pulsing that he could almost easily dismiss to the back of his mind. He wasn't sure what to do now that the banging was gone and he was alone in the room that looked like his bedroom, but obviously wasn't, assuming that Otohir was around. The only thing that looked remotely good to the teen was the bed - the real thing had suffocated and killed many a headache, and if this imitation was anything like the real thing, then it would be perfectly capable of soothing his pain.

With that in mind, Honda flopped back onto the mattress, the suspension bouncing him up and down for a couple of moments, before it slowed to a stop. With a peaceful sigh, he slowly laid back into the comforter and the feather pillow, not even bothering to tuck himself in, instead simply savoring the feel of the bed against his body. He could feel himself beginning to drift away within seconds; his breathing was becoming shallower, his eyes falling shut. He drew up his knees a little, just like he did when he was in his real bed, in his real home - it was an instinctive movement. Honda felt at home, like he had gone to sleep in this very bed too many times to count, and... well, in a funny sort of way, he _had._

He knew he was tired, but he didn't know just how damn tired he was, not until his fatigue took the reigns of his consciousness and thrust him into a deep sleep.

* * *

**JONOUCHI**

The blonde Battle City finalist (er - the saner, better-looking one, of course) stood at Honda's bedside, with one arm crossed over his chest and the other resting atop his crossed arm, his hand rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. The brunette had been out cold for a fair while, after collapsing for seemingly no conceivable reason during the preliminary elimination round. Speaking of that - the round was now over and Yugi was in the bottom two along with Yami Malik, a match that didn't exactly guarantee both sides coming out with their heads still attached to their bodies.

_If only there was something I could do to help Yugi… and Mai, too… and heck, even Ryou..._

With something that was a cross between a grimace and a sly smile, Jounouchi turned his attention to Anzu, sleeping on the loveseat. She might as well have been knocked out herself - the blonde figured that she had to be tired, and so there was no way she would catch him if he were to simply sneak out of the recovery room...

After a pause, Katsuya Jounouchi did just that.

Closing the door to the infirmary with as much grace as he could, he made his way through the blimp with one target in mind: Yami Malik's dorm room. He had to save Mai, he knew that much; and even if someone's life hadn't been involved here, Yugi was still going to be facing Shanky tomorrow if Jounouchi didn't do something, which was more than enough reason for the blonde. He moved down the corridors, checking in every room as he searched for the psychopath's bedroom. That was his first guess as to where the Egyptian would be - and if he didn't find the lunatic there, Jounouchi had already decided that he would walk every hallway on the vessel and search through every room until he found Yami Malik, and _then _he would take him down. It was his dut-

"Looking for something, Jonouchi?"

Jonouchi whirled mid-stride, narrowly managing to keep his balance when his eyes locked on his target, his prey, which appeared to have found _him _first. It was Yami Marik all right, even in the semi-darkness of the corridor; the lanky form leaning against a wall, the Eye of Anubis glowing dimly on its forehead. His amethyst eyes were difficult to see, but Jounouchi saw the flash of the almost _sharp _white teeth, bared in a smile condescending, and guessed that the teen's gaze was currently full of a mild sort of amusement.

"Malik!" he exclaimed, extending an arm to point at the boy.

Pushing off of the wall, Yami Malik waved a hand dismissively in the other boy's direction. "Malik, that's me - I think I would know my own name." He grinned sinisterly, sticking out a playful tongue, before bursting into hysterical laughter at his own quip.

"Erm - yeah, that…" Jonouchi sighed. "It wasn't _that _funny, Malik; I mean, I've heard better jokes…" The sane blonde tried rather awkwardly to make the Egyptian stop laughing, with a deadpan stare and a straight face, but to no avail. If anything, the psychopath only laughed _harder_- not that Jounouchi hadn't expected that anyway, but it was still unnerving.

"So, what were you looking for?" Yami Malik asked, placing his hands at his hips and leaning forward slightly, and something told Jonouchi that the other boy knew exactly what he wanted. "A... Shadow Game, perhaps?"

Jounouchi inhaled deeply through his nose, feeling his whole body become tense in the heavy air that Yami Malik had created with his words. A Shadow Game was exactly what he was hoping for, of course - that is, if only he could _win _and so banish Yami Malik forever. He couldn't be entirely certain of his victory - but if only he believed in his deck and the Heart of the Cards like Yugi had taught him, he knew that, if anything, he at least had a fair chance of winning. He suddenly became aware of the weight of his duel disk on his arm; it was rather heavy…

_This is it._

Yami Malik took Jonouchi's silence as a sign of approval, and he slowly unhooked his Millennium Rod from his belt and held it in front of himself in a ceremonious manner, causing the atmosphere around them to cloud up and cover the two duelists in a blanket of murky darkness. On realizing that this was his first Shadow Game alone, and one that could very well be his last, Jonouchi twitched slightly, shivers racing down his spine.

Automatically, he reached for his duel disk, flicking the little switch on its underside that would start it up - only to be interrupted by Yami Malik - "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Jonouchi's head shot up to see what the Egyptian's deal was, one eyebrow raising in confusion. "What's yer proble-"

"We're not going to need our duel disks in this game", Yami Malik declared, his voice carrying a hint of what was almost reverence. Jounouchi, of course, missed this subtle hint; instead deciding to question his enemy for answers.

"What the heck is _that _supposed to me-"

He was cut off by a loud groaning sound like two slabs of stone struggling against each other, followed by the loud crack of the ground splitting in the space between the Egyptian and his opponent. Out of the ground rose two identical stations made of pure gold and decorated with ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs. The walls of the corridor grew cabinets made of the same gold, with intricately carved handles and Jonouchi could only stare on in awe as the corridor warped into a miniature… a miniature...

… _a miniature kitchen?_

"What is this, Malik?" the boy exclaimed, trying to mask his terror with confidence and rage.

"What does it look like?" the bored Egyptian replied, rolling his eyes and stepping towards his workstation, his hand going straight for one of the butcher knives. "_It's a Shadow Cookoff!_" he announced with malicious glee, throwing his head back in laughter and raising his blade to the sky.

* * *

**END**

**(And so Jonouchi realized that he was officially **_**bleeeped**_**.)**

* * *

_**-cough- erm... -shoves late excuses under the rug- So, uhh... HOW 'BOUT THAT CHAPTER, EH? ;D -sweats nervously-**_


End file.
